While a bit of fighting now and then is a healthy way to vent tensions, from a certain point onwards fighting becomes toxic. Wondering how to put an end to fighting? Here are some time-tested ways to stop fighting with your partner.
1. Separate the problems from your partner.
In order to stop fighting with your partner, you have to begin by accepting that neither you or your partner are solely responsible for the problems in your relationship. If you want to tackle the problem, you have to stop blaming your partner and go to the root cause of the problem. Any relationship presupposes a complex dynamics and often the root cause of the relationship problem runs deeper than what you or your partner did or failed to do.
In order to stop fighting with your partner, it is essential to shift the focus from who’s to blame to what both of you can contribute to the relationship, for better or for worse. Once you accept the idea of joint responsibility, you’ll find it is much easier to find a common ground.
3. Learn to see the good.
If you truly want to stop fighting with your partner, learn to focus on his good side. Much too often, when we are angry at someone, we tend to focus on their perceived failings and miss the larger picture.
When starting a conversation about your problems, begin by acknowledging his good sides: “I know you mean well”, “You’re such a good dad.”
4. Write it down.
If you are fuming, write down your feelings before flipping out. Try to state your feelings as clear as possible. This will help you vent and allow you to address the problem more effectively once you’ve cooled down.
5. Take timeout.
6. Shut up and touch.
According to experts, from a point onwards discussing the matter simply doesn’t help. So, when you can’t seem to stop fighting and can’t reach a resolution, just hold each other for a while. Reconnecting through touch is worth a thousand words.
7. Seek counseling, if necessary.
If you can’t stop fighting, don’t feel ashamed to seek professional help — individually and as a couple. There might be lingering emotional problems or tensions between you which you failed to address and which a therapist might help you uncover.