Breakups are never easy and never mutual, even though an agreement that the relationship must end might eventually be accepted. Initializing the breakup can be distressing for the person doing it, but can take an even bigger toll on the dumped person’s ego and personality. However, there are ways of making the process a little easier for both of you and facilitate the post breakup recovery process. Here are a few effective suggestions:

State your feelings clearly Making the other person understand that the decision is clear and well thought out is essential in order to get adequate closure. Respectfully explaining the reasons that made you decide that this step is necessary, without pointing out your soon to be ex’s flaws to avoid creating a conflict that could escalate and make things even more difficult. Don’t turn to cliches, as you will only make the situation worse.

Avoid giving false hope There’s no reason to be rude or excessively blunt, but you should make sure that you don’t give the other person reasons to hope that you might change your mind one day if you are positive that this will never happen. It might be cumbersome to do so when the hurt feelings are especially evident. But doing so will help you avoid future re-openings of the subject and help you both move on.

Make it fast While it’s absolutely necessary to address questions and objections right on the spot to be able to make the situation easier to accept, if you fall into over-explaining things, the situation will only be worse. Avoid taking the discussion to public places and choose his place over yours to be able to avoid sticking around longer than necessary.

Give each other space While emotional distance can obviously be enough to realize that the relationship ended, spending time apart is essential to be able to fully accept the new reality. Avoiding places where the two of you would potentially meet, keeping distance from his friends and avoiding communication via social networks at least for a while will make things easier for both.

Don’t bring up the friends issue now If the relationship has come to an end for reasons that are not necessarily due to bad actions/ intentions, a desire to remain friends can be somewhat natural. However, as long as romantic feelings are still present, the probability of this turning out right slims to none. Waiting is the best policy in this case and rushing things can be unfair for the other person.

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