Today is the 1st of 2009 and now that I have looked back and my past and skimmed over my present, I find myself in a relationship that's pretty solid relationship. My bf isn't exactly to my list, but that's okay. He's very loving and a good person for my son. My friend (and godfather to my son) has finally given the O.K. and I'm ecstatic. Well, right now I'm going to strat writing that list. See ya!

I could sleep at all. My BF pissed me off right after sex at three am in the morning and I haven't been able to sleep yet. I have a really bad toothache and I finally went to the dentist. I got a RX of Vicodin and Penicilin to combat this and in Feb. they will take the tooth out. Sigh, I wish it was Feb.

This is me (sitting at the computer) and my friends joking around on my new webcam.

http://myspacetv.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=47466328

My daughter, reincarnated

Well... recently I have acquired a black kitten that has an interesting color pattern when it comes to his white fur. His name is sage and I have grown very fond of him.

It is obvious that he was grown fond of me as well.

But here's my thought on it. As most of you know, I had lost my daughter, Hinata, before she was born to the stress and drama that her father, Robert Jackson had created after that turmoil breakup.

I regretted it. She would have been born last week on the 15th. Well... actually I probably would have had her late, just like my son, her brother, Mustafa. And it is about that time that I had been given Sage. My BF Mike had from him freshly abandoned outsid emy apartment complex. Sage was nearly ran over by a SUV. My BF said he did not run when he went to retrieve him.

I believe that Sage is the reincarnation of my beloved child. He acts just like my son and myself. lol My mother had even said that Sage walks like my father, and he does! There were times when he would come looking for me, meowing out like I would do for my son. So its like I have to children in the house.

Mustafa is very jealous of him. He had even bitten Sage. -sighs- I hope that Mustafa's behavior will improve soon, or else I won't be able to keep him.

But what if? I don't really know for sure. lol, I guess I would have to talk to Robert about it to be sure. -sighs again- its a shame that by law we aren't on speaking terms.

Well... Ciao for now!

There are times when you realized what you regret

I regret not listening to my instincts when it came to my ex fiancee Robert.

I regret not breaking up with him before moving out of my old downtown apartment.

I regret not dating quite a few guys in the beginning and picking Robert over them.

I regret thinking about Robert when I wake at night from a nightmare, wishing he was there to keep me safe.

I regret not paying off Dell so I could have moved into my dream apartment complex.

I regret having Mustafa around  Anna and picking up her bad habits.

I regret letting myself go recently after I got together with my current BF.

I regret dating Josiah. ugh, that doesn't even count as a relationship.

I regret starting my own 'school whore' rumors.

I regret not budgeting my money properly.

I regret not working as much as I could in 2007.

I regret not buying a new car when I got my taxes last Feb.

Never again will I...

Never again will I work hard on someone else career before my own.

Never again will I think about someone Else's happiness over my son's and myself.

Never again will I allow a BF or fiancee move in with me when I know they are no good for me in the end.

Never again will I get pregnant and try to start a family with something that has/had serious relationship issues.

Never again will I ignore my list of important qualities in choosing my mate.

Never again will I have sex with someone to make them happy and not me.

Never again will I have sex with someone who needs to be taught basic sexual techniques

Never again will I have sex with someone who isn't long enough to masturbate.

Never again will I Keep and overly dirty house.

Never again will I be a sloth and put off exercise and housework

Never again will I try to depend on my family 100% financially

Never again will I stay with someone because they are supporting me.

They say "never say never." But I, myself have been scorn so many different times in many different ways that I have to put this is in order to remind myself of the pain I had gone through.