as if life wasnt hard enough

i had the best and worst day of my life yesterday.   it started out great.  we all had a blast but one small thing killed it, killed my heart and made me see that maybe i need to give up and just embrace everything. 

in utah there isnt much to do.

a very boring place to be.

my friend heard it was 2 for $20 at this water park and so we get a group together and go. 

we get in and find a place to set up our towels.

and the part i was most nervous about didnt really matter in the end.

i was going to this water park with my best friend, her neighbor who i have a crush on and his two friends.

we have fun and screw around.

he and i talk a lot and he was starting to make me think that he liked me the way i like him.

he tried to make me go on a slide i couldnt go on because i cant make it over the hill.

he pretended to push me into the pool...countless times...the saved your life thing.

he would look at me like he liked me.

but the end of that night...his friend brought up his new girlfriend, he has known me for a few months now and her 7 days. 

i am smaller than her.

i dont doubt that i am in better shape.

i am a lot cuter than she is...

but why would he choose her over me?

he barely knows her...