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13 Mar 2012
so, im really in love with my boyriend, he's already planning on marrying me and everything when i get out of highschool. i really want a baby. im almost eighteen (March 19th) and about to finish highschool. i think daniel would be the ideal dad and we love each other so much that i really want this. what do you guys think? i already have baby names and everything. Girl: Alianna Lee. Boy: Ryan Avery. are those cute?
Posted on 13 Mar 2012
Every person is different and each situation is unique. But in my opinion I would suggest waiting until you have a steady job or a degree. Where I live ,you don't really get good lobs if all you have is a high school diploma. Not to be a cynic but you,as a woman and a mother, needs to be able to support your child without a man if it comes to that. If you can support yourself and a baby that's the right time
I agree with isy. Raising a baby isn't as easy as , we love each other so it'll all work out. You need to take into consideration, housing, room for growth, financials, time , etc . You both need jobs, or at least one of you. It would probably be easier to raise a child when you have a place of your own as well. Marrying isn't as easy either...you guys should consider the cost of such things. If you want the best for whatever children you wish to have, then it's best you take things slow and make sure you have a solid foundation where you don't have to rely on others for help when raising your child and you will have the time to raise them with absolute love. Please don't jump into things simply because you two are in love. I'm in love , but that does not mean I'm going to just stop schooling for a baby, even though I want one. I'm working on a degree just so I can travel and experience life, and after all is said and done, provide shelter and whatever my child may need when he or she is growing up. Don't rush things...
I totally agree with Isy. Although I feel that you also need the support of friends and family. Have you spoke with your mother or father about it. Talk to whichever one you are closer with. If it is neither of them, then you should speak with your high school counselor. You friends tend to give you advice, but it's normally biased since they will tell you what you want to hear. Normally women who tend to have children out of high school end up later regretting it because they become passionate about something else, but can't do it because of the baby causing them to become extremely depressed.
I don't know you, but I have had many friends say this in high school and many who did just that, had a baby right after. Some of them were preggo during high school. It's not about what age you are, it's about how mentally stable, emotionally ready, and financially able to handle all the responsibilities that come with having a child.
You have to ask yourself all these questions:
Where will we live? You very well can't expect to live with your parents, that just would not be healthy for you nor the baby. Your parents will treat it as their child. They may say they wont, but believe me, it happens. My sister doesn't even live with my parents and my dad still tries to tell her how to raise her children and it's rather aggravating. Just think if you had to live with that.
Who will be working? Hopefully both of you will be working steady jobs. Something that would give you maternity leave when you decide to have a baby. I really hope you weren't expecting the guy (daniel in your case) to provide for you because that's just not logical. Statistically speaking research has shown that young families tend to get divorced faster even with a child and especially if only the male is working.
Can we afford everything: food, clothes, car payments, car insurance, health insurance, cell phone bills and medical bills right now. If you can't, then it isn't time. You have to look at the big picture and the big picture is a HUGE picture.
By the way my sister is going to be 27 this year, had two kids with her bf. She left him because he turned out to be a jerk of a father. She has a 2 year old boy and a 4 year old girl. She lives alone with her children in her own place and if you can't see yourself being able to support yourself on your own with children....then you should wait.
I love children and would love to have a child myself, but I know I couldn't support it. You don't want to rely on the gov't to give you a check because what if that check never comes. Then your children (child) will go hungry.
Wow this was longer than I expected.....Hope it helped!
Your BG Sister!
I haven't nothing to say that they didn't. The way I see it "If you love each other now that much,you will love each other after 10 years" so,I think you should wait.You need to finish high school,so you can support YOURSELF,you're same age as me and I don't want & I'm not ready to have a baby now.For baby you need to be mature and be financial secured,if you want baby now without any financial security then you're not mature.Do you talked to him,does he wants a baby now? I suggest wait a couple of years.
Posted on 14 Mar 2012
well... if your both financially secure, with secure jobs that will carry you until the kid is 18, if you have adequate housing and you have absolutely no problem handling phone bills/utilities/rent or mortgage... if your done high school or on your way. Can you financially support the baby? Are you prepared for doctors appointments? Consider it carefully.
Do you both have stable jobs, and a place to live? And are you sure that you are willing to spend your twenties, and the rest of your life, taking care of children, when you are still a child yourself, as many people would say. Oh, and would you be able to put your baby through schooling and college? If so, good luck and I love the names!
Posted on 15 Mar 2012
Are you guys financially stable, and have a good place to bring that baby home too?
But if you think you're ready, why don't you baby sit a kid for 5 days straight, see if you and your significant other can handle it.
Oh and those names are really cute!!
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