While single people on Valentine’s Day definitely get the short end of the stick, couples can also feel less than wonderful around this time of the year. Check out the multiple ways Valentine’s Day can hurt your relationship.
If you’re in a happy relationship, you’ll be fine, but the holiday that’s dedicated to romantic love can definitely create more tension for couples that are going through a rough patch. Find out how Valentine’s Day can turn into a negative.
1. Unrealistic Expectations
The commercialization definitely didn’t help when it comes to raised expectations about this day being very special. When they stop being realistic, you can end up being disappointed in your partner, and that never helps. Unrealistic expectations for the perfect celebration of love can lead to fights and tensions in many couples, particularly if this is the first time you’re spending Valentine’s Day together.
2. Stressing Over “Perfect” Gift
One of the biggest ways Valentine’s Day can hurt your relationship is by creating the myth of the perfect gift, that’s thoughtful and romantic and will knock you off your feet. In some relationships, the stress can be one-sided, but if you know that your guy always delivers a great gift, you can also get swept away in the search for a present that will be one of the best he’s ever received.
3. Creating Comparisons
Valentine’s Day is probably the most likely day of the year when you’ll look around and compare your partner to other guys. When he comes up short, you’ll be disappointed and instead of celebrating love, you might be inclined to feel sorry for yourself that your partner isn’t more thoughtful or more romantic. He can also end up feeling the same, thinking that your lingerie wasn’t sexy enough or you didn’t receive his gift the way he anticipated.
4. Bringing Up Unresolved Issues
Holidays usually bring up old issues, but one of the biggest ways Valentine’s Day can hurt your relationship is the fact that the spotlight is on how much satisfaction you’re getting from your relationship. Couples that have unresolved issues or conflicts are more likely to fight and even break up in the week before the holiday and the one following it.
5. Getting Bad Gifts
If your guy wasn’t inspired enough to get you something you love or if you feel he didn’t spend enough money, that can also create tension. Even if you keep these opinions to yourself, placing a huge significance on a Valentine’s Day present can end up hurting you too, making you feel guilty about caring for superficial things.
6. Trying to Take the Relationship to the Next Level
Societal pressures around this holiday can create the illusion that a gift and a pleasant evening isn’t enough, that you should actually push your relationship forward. Making a big step, like moving in together or getting engaged, on February 14th, just because it’s a good way to make the day really special is definitely one of the ways Valentine’s Day can hurt your relationship.
7. Failing to Have the “Perfect” Romantic Dinner
For plenty of couples, preparation is everything, but once you actually get to the restaurant, things go south. On Valentine’s Day, “romantic” restaurants are very crowded, so you might not get the best service, and you might not be able to connect on a deeper emotional level when the small stuff just keeps getting in the way.
8. Creating Frustration Even When Ignored
Even if you decide to skip any type of celebration, one of the ways Valentine’s Day can hurt your relationship is by being everywhere around. Many couples can skip it successfully, but others get frustrated when they miss it for the sake of their partner’s wishes.
9. Fighting About Money
When your finances have been combined, or you’re both saving up for something important, expensive presents can backfire, creating resentment instead of happiness.
10. Making the Rest of the Year Look Bad
Even when everything goes according to plan, one of the ways Valentine’s Day can hurt your relationship is by raising the bar too high. If you’re craving grand romantic gestures all year round, you’ll end up frustrated.