For many people, going to a couples counselor feels like failure, when it’s actually a brave thing to do that also proves you’re invested in the well-being of your relationship. Some things just don’t work themselves out, and a little outside help can go along way.
Discover the most important signs you need couples therapy, and don’t wait on it. Going ahead and getting help when your relationship is in jeopardy is the right decision, especially when you’re dealing with these difficult issues.
1. You’re Facing Communication Problems
Whether communication is breaking down or it’s growing increasingly negative, it’s time to take a step back and discuss the issue with your partner. If things don’t improve, then couples therapy can help you move on from a toxic place in your relationship. Remember that body language and the silent treatment can also be red flags.
2. You’re Stuck in the Same Fights
One of the biggest signs you need couples therapy is having the same fight over and over again about different things. Whether older issues are rehashed or you simply deal with new ones with a similar conflict every time, having the same argument is also a big communication issue. Talking to a couples therapist can help you improve the situation.
3. You’re Running Out of Patience
Having a short temper at work, with friends or even your pet can be a sign that there’s something wrong in your relationship, even if you can’t put your finger on it. If your partner is causing frustration that you end up taking out on other, it’s time to take action. Stress and lack of sleep can also be connected to trouble in your relationship.
See also: The Unwritten Rules of Relationships
4. You Find Excuses to Avoid Sex
Even if you’re not making a conscious effort to come up with excuses for not being physically intimate, there might be a problem. Changes in your sex life can be one of the signs you need couples therapy, especially when both of you just don’t seem to have time for that, because you’re always exhausted.
5. You’re Getting Emotional Support Elsewhere
If you’re seeking emotional support outside of your relationship or others always seem to be there for you when your partner isn’t, you definitely have a problem. Whether you realize it or not, that can easily create a wall of emotional distance in your relationship. Counseling can be very helpful in this type of situation, when you just don’t feel like you can open up to your significant other anymore.
6. You’ve Stopped Trying to Fix Your Issues
A huge red flag and one of the biggest signs you need couples therapy, giving up on fixing your issues because there’s too much effort and frustration involved is bad. Whether your partner is feeling the same or not, this type of relationship issue can lead to a lot of frustration later on, so make an effort to fix the problem now.
7. You’re Going Through a Major Change
From having a child to losing a family member, any major life change can sometimes have unforeseen consequences in your relationship. Big changes can put a strain on your emotional connection, and this is definitely a good time to seek a little professional help.
8. You Can’t Let Go of Resentment
When you just can’t seem to solve conflicts with your partner and you keep hanging on to the resentment, you can definitely benefit from counseling. Not being able to let go of your anger is one of the biggest signs you need couples therapy.
9. You Start Looking for Affection Outside of Your Relationship
Starting an emotional affair with someone else can still be considered cheating, even if you stay sexually faithful to your partner. If you start thinking about having an affair or you simply look for affection and validation outside of your relationship, you should start focusing on how you can fix these issues.
10. You See Separation as Relief
When you take a time-out, for a few hours or days, and you dread going back, you’re dealing with one of the clearest signs you need couples therapy. If you still care about your relationship, act now and find a good counselor. Waiting will only lead to a breakup.