If you’re starting to see warning signals in your relationship, because you’re not connecting with your guy the same way you used to, the first thing you should do is figure out the cause. That way, you’ll have a chance to fix it before it’s too late.
Find our more about the reasons you’re drifting apart, and you’ll be able to figure out if the relationship is salvageable. Counseling can certainly help, as long as you’re both committed to fixing it.
1. You’re Not Really Compatible
Sometimes it takes years to realize you’re too different to be together. Most commonly, the first red flags show up after the honeymoon period in your relationship, but by then you’re too committed to take them seriously. When your lives are taking you in opposite directions, and the spark that held you together is gone, you might be better off moving on.
2. You’re Failing to Communicate
If one of the reasons you’re drifting apart is that you’re experiencing communication issues, you could still save the relationship. Without being open about your expectations and your needs, the emotional distance will keep growing. Don’t take each other for granted and start asking questions again. The answers might surprise you.
3. Your Sexual Intimacy Is Fading
Once you let your sex life slip into a comfortable routine, you’ll start losing the physical intimacy that’s very important for every couple. Don’t ignore sex, and don’t let dry spells turn into abstinence for both of you. Try new things in the bedroom and you might experience a whole new level of sexual intimacy if you keep exploring each other’s desires and fantasies in a judgment free way.
4. You Just Don’t Have Enough Time for Each Other
Between work and maybe children, spending quality time with your loved one can be pretty difficult. But one of the reasons you’re drifting apart could be the fact that you don’t realize how much you need it. If you just talk about day to day stuff, you’ll stop connecting on an emotional and intellectual level.
5. You’re Bored
It doesn’t matter if you’re really compatible, boredom can affect even the happiest long term relationships. Waiting for something to fix the routine that stopped working doesn’t help. It’s up to the two of you to stop having the same arguments and inject some new energy into your relationship. Without trying together, you’ll continue to drift apart.
6. You’re Holding onto Resentment
Once conflicts are solved and fights are ended, you have to let them go. Holding on to anger and resentment could be one of the reasons you’re drifting apart. If you have trouble getting over these issues on your own, and you keep bringing them up in arguments, you could benefit from couples counseling.
7. Poor Stress Management
Unless you’re equipped with the right tools to keep the daily grind from getting to you, it’s likely that you’ll inject some of that tension in your relationship. You should work together on your coping skills and make sure you support each other during difficult moments, unless you’re willing to risk growing apart.
8. Your Emotional Intimacy Is Waning
When you feel better talking about things with someone else than your partner, your emotional intimacy takes a big blow, and it could be one of the reasons you’re drifting apart. Focus on keeping your partner your best friend and your confidant to keep it alive.
9. You’re Growing In Different Ways
When your interests start overlapping less and less, or one of you isn’t enthusiastic about them anymore, you’re in trouble. Try to find common ground on the big things in order to salvage your relationship. If you don’t put in the work together, you might one day discover that everything that was keeping your together is gone.
See also: 10 Signs You're in a Relationship Rut
10. Emotional Affairs Start Happening
People don’t go out and make emotional connections with others when their needs are met. If either of you is engaging in emotional affairs, that’s because of the other reasons you’re drifting apart. This is a symptom of the problem, not a cause, and it’s the last warning sign that things are going in the wrong direction.