Getting married is a big step, and there’s no guarantee that it’ll work in the long run. However, by taking a few steps to ensure you’re truly compatible, you can reduce the risk of making the wrong call. Don’t pull out your list of questions right as he proposes, but make sure you discuss these very important topics early on.

Don’t skip the important questions to ask him before marriage, or you might end regretting that you didn’t get to know him better before making this big commitment.

1. What’s Marriage to You?

The marriage certificate gives both of you important rights, from becoming the next of kin and making decisions for your partner if he’s ever incapable of making them himself to plenty of tax breaks. Beyond that, define your marriage together. Does it mean sexual monogamy? Does it mean spending every single evening together? It’s important to be on the same page about your commitment.

2. Are We Best Friends?

Your significant other doesn’t have to fill every emotional and intellectual need you have, but it’s really important that your connection is the most important in your life. Respecting your guy and his opinions more than anyone else’s and vice versa is a really fundamental part of a relationship that’s ready to move forward, and that’s why this is one of the big questions to ask him before marriage.

3. Do We Agree on Sharing Responsibilities?

Instead of going in with two different sets of expectations, have a frank talk about how you’ll divide and share and responsibilities. It’s important to seek balance, and to be open to the stuff your significant other really hates, whether it’s specific chores or just planning and organizing. When you pick up the slack on what your partner really hates to do, you truly are compatible in the long run.

4. Are We on the Same Page on Children?

If you already know you want the same number of children or none at all, other questions to ask him before marriage include details about it. When you want children, do you have the same child-rearing philosophy? Talk about your childhood and the things you want to do differently from your parents, and see how much middle ground you can find.

5. What Happens If There’s an Accidental Pregnancy?

When you make big plans about how and when you’ll start a family, and then an unexpected pregnancy comes out, you need to be on the same page. Talk this through and make sure that you arrive at the same decision before you actually have to deal with something so life-changing.

6. How Do We See Our Sex Life?

Even if you’re completely satisfied with your sex life at the moment, trouble might show up later on. In long term relationships, all couples go through dry spells, and then there are also pregnancies and medical reasons that might interrupt your sex life. If one of you has a very high libido and the other a low one, you’ll be happy you didn’t ignore one of the most important questions to ask him before marriage.

7. What Happens in the Case of Cheating?

Do you plan on divorcing at the slightest problem when it comes to monogamy. What if you have small children? It’s not an easy discussion, but it’s better to be upfront about what happens if one of you cheats. Is it worth breaking up your family and losing someone you really love because of one night with a stranger? Knowing where you both stand on this might help more than you think.

8. What Role Will Our Relatives Play in Our Family?

How involved will your extended family play in your life? What happens when parents grow old and can’t take care of themselves anymore? There are essential questions to ask him before marriage.

9. Do We Agree on Financial Priorities?

So many fights stem from money issues, so it’s good to be on the same page about your priorities. How will you spend your money together or separately? Are vacations a must, or are shopping sprees more important?

10. Can We Really Count on Each Other?

One of the biggest questions to ask him before marriage, this is also the trickiest one. Life is full of surprises. If one of you needs financial or even mental support, can the other handle responsibilities for both of you?

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