Trust and mutual respect are fundamental to any happy relationship, and jealousy threatens then both. If you’re struggling with jealousy when it comes to your man, there are a few steps you can take in order to minimize the impact it has on your life and relationship.

Find out how to overcome jealousy, or at least learn how to better control it, in order to eliminate stress from your relationship. If you let your imagination go unchecked, you may end up making yourself, and your partner, miserable.

Stop Bringing Old Baggage to New Relationships

If it’s an older problem, approach every new relationship with a fresh take. Whether your jealousy is based on experiences that your parents went through, or older relationships in which your trust was betrayed, you can’t keep hauling it around. Starting a new relationship with the idea that he’ll cheat on you is a recipe for disaster.

Communicate the Right Way

Even if your guy is a flirt, that doesn’t mean he would ever cheat on you. One solution that helps overcome jealousy is talking it out. Make sure you’re both calm and rested when you approach the subject and avoid any blaming. Once your partners knows how you feel, he might be able to alleviate your jealousy at least partially.

Accept Uncertainty

Death and taxes truly are the only certainties in life, and you should learn to accept that. You can’t control your man’s feelings, but you can push him away by making unfounded claims and accusations. Uncertainty is part of any relationship, and that’s where trust comes in. Cultivate it, because you can’t really be happy without it.

Work on Your Self Esteem

Sometimes, jealousy is linked to low self-esteem. If you want to overcome jealousy, you’ll have to work on yourself, on feeling more secure about who you are and your relationship. Living your life feeling threatened by other women can cause a lot of stress and anxiety. Start appreciating your biggest qualities and accept that he really loves you for them, and he’s not looking for someone better.

Trust Your Partner More Than Your Imagination

Just like hypochondria, jealousy is out of control when you trust your hypothetic scenarios more than your partner’s dedication to you. If you can’t get rid of jealousy, you’ll still imagine that he’s cheating on you or wants to cheat, but it’s more important to trust his feelings and actions more than your imagination.

See also: The Best Ways to End a Fight

Don’t Try to Make Him Feel the Same

One of the worst things you can do in any relationship is to start playing mind games. You can’t overcome jealousy by making him feel the way you do. Even if you appreciate the self-esteem boost when he gets jealous, trying to create the opportunity for it to happen never helps, it just brings more toxic feelings into your relationship.

Stay Objective

Trying to always find an objective point of view is something that can have a lot of benefits for your relationship in the long run. If you can’t do it right away, take a break and calm down before you start accusing him of wrongdoing. An angry reaction will just push him away.

Work on Mutual Respect

Power and control play a big part in jealousy as well. You can’t control his feeling and you shouldn’t treat him like a material possession. Trying to overcome jealousy by developing mutual respect is the way to go. There are no happy relationships in which one partner is on a short leash just to satisfy the other’s jealousy.

Get Support

After you discuss the issue with your partner, start considering counseling or just talking to a friend. See what people you admire think about the problem, without trying to lead them on towards the conclusion that you’re a victim and he’s a monster for not allowing you to control him with your jealousy.

Be Prepared for Anything

When you’re struggling to overcome jealousy, you should also take a few moments to consider the worst case scenario. He might cheat, and things might end with a break-up or a divorce. But when you’re jealous all the time, you’re increasing the chances of that happening, and you’re also poisoning the good parts of your relationship.

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