A bit of jealousy and possessiveness is healthy in most relationships, but when it’s going too far, it can become a huge problem. If your guy is more jealous than most, you’ll need to do two things: take his feelings into consideration, while also knowing when to draw the line.
Find out how to deal with a jealous boyfriend without making him feel bad about it, but without letting him control you either. From a little bit of leeway on your part, to his commitment to change, here’s what you can do about excessive jealousy.
1. Don’t Give Him Any Reasons to Be Jealous
Your first step is to throw away any attempts of teasing him, joking about flirting with other guys or adding to the issue in any gratuitous way. This doesn’t mean that you have to stay 3 feet away from any guy or let him control the way you dress. It just means that you shouldn’t use his jealousy against him to make things worse.
2. Figure Out the Root of the Problem
When you’re figuring out how to deal with a jealous boyfriend, it’s important to know if it’s part of his personality or if he’s been through any situations that created the problem. If one of his parents cheated or if he’s been hurt by other girlfriends, it’s important to acknowledge the validity of his feelings, while also letting him know that he doesn’t have a right to be insanely jealous because of his past.
3. Appreciate His Efforts to Change
If he accepts that he has a problem, make sure you encourage him and support him in any attempts to keep his possessiveness and jealousy under control. If he has any major triggers, like you dancing with another guy, you can be accommodating, but you shouldn’t allow him to control you indirectly just so he feels less insecure.
4. Don’t Give in to Ridiculous Demands
While you can definitely avoid flirting with other guys, especially in front of him, one of the best answers to the question of how to deal with a jealous boyfriend is to stand your ground when he’s over the line. If you pamper him and start making major changes just to keep him happy, you’re on the wrong track. You can support him and be respectful of his feelings without allowing him to make up rules that aren’t fair to you.
See also: 10 Relationship Hacks to Keep Love Alive
5. Be Open to PDA
Public displays of affection can sometimes make a jealous guy feel less insecure, so make sure that you’re open to that, without letting PDAs become uncomfortable. Holding his hand and kissing his on the lips can make him feel better, making out will not be great for anyone around you.
6. Boost His Self Respect
Sometimes, the biggest cause of jealousy is his opinion that you can do better, so you’re likely to upgrade anytime. Make sure that you show him to you respect him, and don’t skimp on honest compliments. Showing your appreciation is one of the best ways to deal with a jealous boyfriend.
7. Work on Communication
When he doesn’t feel like he can come to you for reassurance, he’ll dwell on silly things and his jealousy will grow. By improving communication, you can make sure that he’ll come to you at the first sign of trouble. Your best bet is to stay calm and explain the importance of trust in your relationship, while also acknowledging his feelings.
8. Include Him in Your Plans
Sometimes, the simplest way to deal with a jealous boyfriend is to show him that he has nothing to worry about. That means that you should include him in your plans that include other guy friends from time to time. You should also make an effort to keep him updated on what you’re doing when you’re away, without letting it slide intro creepy controlling territory.
9. Don’t Get Infected Too
When you’re with a jealous partner, he might awaken those same impulses in you too. Work on trust issues and communication and don’t allow him to change you for the worse. That only leads to more fights.
10. Know When He’s Gone Too Far
If you’ve exhausted all the reasonable ways to deal with a jealous boyfriend, sometimes it’s better to call it quits. When he shows he’s incapable of trusting you and the only way to reassure him is to let him take control of your life, it’s definitely time to move on.