When you decide you’re ready for a commitment but your man is taking his sweet time, pushing him won’t help. Instead, you’re better off focusing on yourself and treating him like a real person, not like a frog who’ll only turn into a prince once he stumbles upon a damsel in distress.

Find out how to convince him you’re the one without doing any actual convincing. If he’s feeling pressured, he won’t respond well, so taking your relationship to the next level is more about being than doing.

Make Sure He’s the One for You

Be honest with yourself and decide if he’s really the guy you can see yourself being happy next to in 5, 10 or 20 years. Don’t try to force things into the mold of the perfect love story. Instead, get to know him, while letting him know you and make sure that your connection is a real one, based on common interests and values, not just on hot sex and how good you look together.

Be the Real You

When you’re wondering how to convince him you’re the one, you’re probably thinking of elaborate scenarios, when the best way is usually the simplest one. The dating process goes along much smoother when you’re both being your best selves, but is that really a sustainable dynamic in the long run? Once he starts opening up to you, do the same and be the real you.

Show Him That He’s Not the Center of Your World... Yet

The healthiest relationships are the ones where two individuals share a huge part of their lives, but not every single moment. Even if you’re convinced that he’s the man of your dreams, focusing on just the relationship can make you look a lot less appealing. Don’t forget about your hobbies, your friends and your family. After all, you’re letting him into your life, you’re not starting from scratch with him as your everything.

Be Yourself In Relationship

Know Your Worth

Feeling confident and sexy is the one true way of attracting men and making them want to spend the rest of their lives with you. Instead of figuring out how to convince him you’re the one, work on feeling confident and knowing your own worth. Don’t be arrogant and don’t mistake heels and a low cut dress for sexy, it’s all about your attitude and your self esteem, which always translate easily into your body language, making you the goddess he wants to love and dedicate his life to.

Don’t Let Him Cross Your Boundaries

Depending on how far along in the relationship you are, asses his position when it comes to your boundaries. Standing your ground doesn’t mean refusing compromise, but his respect for your boundaries sometimes shows how much he cares for you.

Avoid “Pushing” Him in the Right Direction

The biggest mistake you can make when you’re working out how to convince him you’re the one is pushing. Nagging and picking fights or trying to force him into a commitment won’t help anyone, let alone you. If you’ve been paying attention, you’re already influencing him towards the right decision by being your amazing self, not by doing things that he might resent.

More: 10 Signs You're Moving Too Fast in a Relationship

Tell Him If You’re Frustrated, Don’t Show Him

If you’re not happy with the progress of your relationship, have an honest discussion about it. After all, you’re two reasonable adults, not teenagers who need to play games or hide what they really mean behind passive aggressiveness.

How To Hold A Man Down

Create a Balance When it Comes to Physical Intimacy

One piece of the puzzle of how to convince him you’re the one is making him feel as wanted as he makes you feel. That means initiating sex and giving him the physical intimacy that he wants without overpowering him with your affection and attention.

See also: Top Relationship Deal Breakers

Find Out if He Doesn’t Already Think You Are

If he’s already cried in front of you, asked you to be his date on his best friend’s wedding, or used the phrase “our kids”, he’s probably already seeing you as the one. Putting too much effort into showing him that he made the right choice could make you seem desperate and backfire.

Know When to Give Up

When you’ve exhausted every option for how to convince him you’re the one, it’s time to acknowledge that maybe he isn’t the one for you. Sticking around in a relationship with someone who doesn’t respect and treasure you is never the path to a happy ending.