Always keeping the peace in your relationship is only a good thing if you do manage to find solutions to conflicts without fighting about it. The process might be easier than you think, as long as both of you are willing to work at it.
Find out how to avoid arguing with your partner by using a few simple solutions, that won’t gloss over the issues and let them turn into major frustrations. When you’re having a disagreement, here’s how to solve it without arguing.
Accept That Nobody Wins an Argument
While feeling like you’re right is very pleasant, there’s really no victory. If you’re interested in the future of your relationship, there’s really nothing to be gained by considering arguments a win or lose scenario. Without proclaiming you’re right, you’re more likely to keep negative emotions to a minimum in your relationship by finding a compromise that works without hurting anyone’s feelings.
Make an Effort to Emphatize More
The easiest answer to the question of how to avoid arguing with your partner is simply putting yourself in their shoes. The worst arguments in a relationship usually occur when either one or both partners is tired or stressed out. Instead of aggressively defending your position, which you naturally feel is right, try to see things from your partner’s perspective and figure out his reasoning for believing he’s completely right.
Always Aim to Talk Lower Than Your Partner
Raising your voice always creates more tension. At the opposite end of the spectrum, talking lower than your partner can actually have a calming effect on him. If you’re really close, you might even try to communicate by whispering and letting the tone of your voice set the mood for quicker conflict resolution.
Say Goodbye to the “But”
If you want to avoid arguing with your partner, let go of “but”. Even when you’re struggling to emphatize, adding a “but” quickly reverts back to your first perspective and lets your partner know that you still think you’re completely right, and he’s completely wrong.
Take a Break
Even a few seconds of focusing on maintaining a calm demeanor can help snap you out of the path to anger. If things get heated, get out of the room, count backwards from 10 and then remind yourself that you don’t want to fight and there is a better way of handling things.
Separate Your Emotions from the Situation
In most conflicts, there’s an emotional component and a factual component. When the dishes didn’t get washed, even though it was your boyfriend’s turn to do them, you actually want two things: for the dishes to be clean again, and for your partner to make it up to you. You can avoid arguing with your partner by simply letting go of that second part, which is often what makes small arguments turn into fights.
Step Out of Your Rut
If you’re stuck having a similar argument every time, then one way to putting an end to the cycle is to just do something different. Whether it’s whispering instead of shouting or not talking to your guy unless you’re holding his hand, try to do something different with your body and you’ll notice that getting over it is a lot easier.
See also: 10 Biggest Relationship Killers
Besides giving you a few extra seconds to cool off, sitting down face to face can also make things easier, if you want to avoid arguing with your partner. Calmly explain why his actions almost got you angry and focus on the situation at hand. Don’t bring the past into it, or you’ll most likely end up fighting even if you sit down.
Touching can be an incredible powerful tool in solving conflict between two people who are in love or in relationship. Even if you feel like the only touch you need right now is your palm slapping him as hard as you can, force yourself to touch your partner affectionately. Whether it’s just holding hands or a full hug, this can help you reconnect with the things you love about your partner.
Don’t Be Afraid to Go to Bed Angry
Some conflicts simply can’t be solved when both you and your partner are tired. Avoid arguing with your partner by sleeping on the issue and revisiting it with a clear head. You might even find that the conflict is a lot less important the next day.