When your instinct is telling you something’s off, you’re probably right. No matter how careful they are, cheaters usually raise a few red flags at the beginning of a relationship.
Discover the most obvious signs you’re dating a cheater, and put your man to the test. If he’s only displaying one or two signs, don’t jump to any rash conclusions. But if he ticks most of the boxes, you might just be dating the wrong guy, who’ll cheat and hurt you in the end.
1. He’s Too Secretive or Mysterious
You can’t expect someone to be a completely open book after just a couple of dates, but if you’re weeks or months into the relationship and he’s more secretive than most, he might just have something to guide. Some men like to cultivate an air of mystery without any ulterior reason, but most usually like to use it in order to cover their tracks when they’re cheating.
2. You’ve Caught Him Lying
One of the most obvious signs you’re dating a cheater is that you already know he’s a liar. When he’s making up excuses which are verifiably untrue, it might be more than little white lies. Whether he’s a good or bad liar, when you catch him lying more than once, be careful.
3. He Guards His Phone Fiercely
If he always keeps his phone close and doesn’t answer it when you’re around, he might have something to hide. A cheater takes very good care to never leave his phone unattended. A guy who claims he deletes all his texts right after he gets them might also have something to hide, but don’t go calling him a cheater based just on that.
4. He Thinks You’re a Cheater
If he’s ever cheated on an ex, he’s probably suspicious that others do the same. If he display ridiculous levels of jealousy every time you ask about an inconsistency in his stories, he might just be projecting his own guilt. If he suddenly turns jealous, and starts accusing you of being inappropriate with other men, that’s one of the signs you’re dating a cheater.
5. There’s a Decrease in Physical Intimacy
For most cheaters, there’s a decline in sex, but other issues with physical intimacy can also show up. While he might be extra affectionate in some moments (like right after he cheats), if you sense him generally getting colder, be careful. A decrease in sexual frequency doesn’t automatically means he’s cheating, but it could mean he’s thinking about it.
6. He Uses His Phone in the Bathroom
Many people use their phones in the bathroom, but if that’s the room where he chooses to take calls, you’re dealing with one of the signs you’re dating a cheater. If you hear the phone ring while he’s in there, don’t panic too early, but when he always initiates the call in the bathroom, he may have something to hide.
7. You Haven’t Met Most of His Friends and Family
When he makes an effort to keep you away from his friends and family, you might not be the only woman in his life. Of course, you can’t expect to meet everyone important in his life after just a few dates, but if things seem to be getting serious and he has no plans to introduce you to his family or friends, he might just be trying to keep you away from any people who might provide clues about his cheating.
8. He Doesn’t Want to Make Concrete Plans
Some people like to be spontaneous, but when you can’t even get him to commit to a Saturday night date, you might have a problem. When he expects you to be ready to spend time whenever he calls, but refuses to make solid plans, that’s one of the signs you’re dating a cheater.
See also: Getting Out of a Toxic Relationship
9. He Follows Suspicious Behavior with Gifts and Attention
Most men will try to assuage their guilt after cheating by showering you with attention or gifts. If you only seem to be his priority after he’s not returning calls or working late, he might be just trying to compensate for his cheating.
10. He Gets Defensive When Questioned
Getting really defensive when you ask about his whereabouts or his schedule is one of the biggest signs you’re dating a cheater. If he jumps right into telling you how insecure you are for not trusting him, he probably has something to hide and you’ve touched a nerve.