Whether you decide to stay friends with your ex or need a clear breakup, the temptation to text inappropriate things can be very high. If you want to avoid embarrassing yourself or cringing every time you think about your moments of weakness, take a look at some of the things you should never text your ex.
Obviously, rants about how they wronged you are never a good idea in text form, but some damaging texts can actually seem innocent when you press “send”. Here are the things you should always stop yourself from texting your ex.
“Did You Get My Message(s)?”
One text is always enough. By not responding, your ex is sending you a very strong hint that they’re either busy or not interesting in talking to you in text form or maybe at all. Don’t double or triple text and never send a question about getting your previous messages. If they were really embarrassing, your ex might even lie to you and say he didn’t get them, but they always get to the destination, whether contact is welcome or not.
“I Miss You”
It doesn’t matter if you initiated the breakup, if you were dumped or if you came to a common agreement to end the relationship, “I miss you” is one of the things you should never text your ex. Even if it doesn’t stir up any negative feelings in your ex, it’s not really true. You’re only missing the good parts of the relationship and the connection that has been severed.
Reminiscing once you’ve established a friendship and all wounds have been healed is normal, but most “remember when...” texts come before that. Your ex might be having a hard time getting over the feeling of loss too, and your text will come across as a selfish cry for attention, which isn’t acceptable anymore since the relationship ended.
“I Am Sorry That...”
Unless you really have something to apologize for and you couldn’t do it in person, “sorry” is also one of the things you should never text your ex. It’s another cry for attention and a way to make yourself look good. Don’t send sorry texts to a guy who’s having a hard time getting over you, since they’ll fill him with negative emotions.
“Thinking of You”
Another type of attention seeking text that many people send after a breakup, the “thinking of you” text is just pointless. Your ex is also thinking of you, probably a lot more than he wants to, and you reaching out in this way doesn’t really bode well if you hope to end up as friends eventually.
All one-word texts fall into the big pile of things you should never text your ex. The reason is that you’re not making your intentions clear. If you need to talk about returning his things or something else that’s objectively important, open with that. An open-ended one word text has a pretty low chance of getting a response, especially if you didn’t end it on good terms.
The booty call should be reserved for people with little to no emotional attachments. Trying to initiate sex one more time can be damaging for both partners after a breakup, even if you don’t realize it when you really want to text “u up” and visit your ex for one last night.
See also: Can You REALLY Stay Friends with an Ex?
They might be meaningful to you in a certain moment, but song lyrics are also among the things you should never text your ex, because they can cause confusion. In fact, avoid all cryptic texts or other phrases that are loaded with symbolism. Certain songs can help you get over your breakup, but if you start thinking they’ll help you get back together, you’re on the wrong track.
Whether you want to or not, things get serious after a breakup, so flirty emoticons lose their place in your communication with the ex. Whether he’s already moving on or still dealing with the pain, extended tongues and hearts have no place in your texts to him.
Anything That You Come Up With Drunk
Whatever you come up with when you’re drunk is probably also one of the things you should never text your ex. It might seem really important in the moment, but it never is. If you absolutely must write down your thoughts, do it in a different app. 99 out of 100 times you’ll realize that not sending it was the best thing to do.