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Anna Heerema

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Libra

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General
Female
06 Oct 1993

About
My names Anna, birthdays in October, favorite numbers 25, I got two older brothers who i adore, i got a boyfriend whos amazing his names mikey, anndddddd yeah lots more if you wanna know more message me up at Takethistoheart93@hotmail.com

  • 151 Rank

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takethistoheart93 asked:

26 Jul 2009

Boyfriend, help. confused.

My boyfriend lost his parents when he was four years of age, at the same time. last week he went to visit his relatives, who he has never met, in South Africa, He's 18 now but he still is very hurt and depressed when its mentioned. I try to be supportive make him feel better and stuff. But its kinda hard. He is not having a good time and he doesn't know how to explain to his relatives that he doesn't appreciate them talking and bringing him places where his parents have been and such. I need advice on what i should tell him, make him feel better, and how to help him tell his relatives threw email. Thanks. in advance.

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Answers

vnessa001

vnessa001 says:

Posted on 26 Jul 2009

i think you schould tell him no matter what be positive there in a better place n they r watching over you n they love him n they wwant him to be happy n live his life in a positive way n to do things in his life not to be sad n depressed

sorry i couldnt help much

auri

auri says:

Posted on 26 Jul 2009

I agree with 'vnessa001' , He'll have to face it sometime, and his parents love him and are looking over him at all times.



I understand it may be hard, but i think its better to think about the great times they had when they were alive and be greatful for the times he had with them, although he was very young when they passed.



Just let him know everything will be okay, that they love him and are watching over him and that you'll be there for him =)

barbipixi

barbipixi says:

Posted on 26 Jul 2009

i understand it bringing up bad memories and it making him sad. and i get they just want him to know and understand where his family is from basicly



most people want to know about the people who loved and made them but if it's just not a place he can be yet he just needs to tell them.



he need's them to know he's still not ready for all this it's too painful and when he's ready he'll come to them.



they can make a scrapbook and he can keep it packed away until he's ready to attempt it or until his children want to know about their grandparents

ctl888

ctl888 says:

Posted on 26 Jul 2009

Your boyfriend has not come to the acceptance nor closure that his parents have passed. By your relatives taking him to these memorable places is their idea of happiness. They want to place his parents happy memories to him. He does not have closure about them passing and needs to be able to come to an acceptance and move on. He needs to know that his relatives are not trying to hurt him. They just want to share his parents happy memories.

You might need to pass on what is going on with your boyfriend to a trust worthy relative so they can help him. That would be best and then they can take the proper steps in helping him accept. He does not need to keep having all this depression all the time.. it is not good for him nor for his future.

reverie_09

reverie_09 says:

Posted on 26 Jul 2009

I completly agree with CTL888. I think maybee a proffesional would be a good idea. It isn't hard to get involved in a project online or something? Good luck, stay strong x

amaay

amaay says:

Posted on 01 Aug 2009

'CTL888' is right[:

x

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