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shysparrow13 asked:

10 Jan 2010

second part of my story

i haven't written the first part, just this scene. tell me what you think. :DD



The second time I saw him, he was with someone.



A girl.

She looked about the same age as him and she had the same mysterious green eyes, though she had silver blonde hair instead of dark brown. They were sitting alone, at a table near the back. The girl was whispering something to Alistair, his face blank. The girl crept away from his face slowly, as to let her breath linger in his ear. He turned to face the girl, but then caught my gaze. I turned away quickly and spilled my carton of milk that leaked over the side of the wood table and onto my jeans.

"Crap," I muttered under my breath, as I mopped up the white liquid with a dozen napkins. I turned around cautiously to face Alistair again, and I noticed he was looking directly at me, this time laughing. I felt my face turn red as a fire truck. I looked around me, and it seemed like everyone was laughing too, even James and Kaylie, my nice friends. I groaned in frustration and scooted away from the table, which caused the seat to screech and fall from under me. I collapsed on the floor and could feel warm tears welling up. I ran out of the cafeteria like a horse and landed inside a stall of the girl's bathroom. I put the cold seat down along with the lid and sat down. I wiped the excess milk from my pants with a wad of toilet paper, though there was still a mark where the milk had spilled, so it looked like I had peed in my pants. Or worse. I put my hands in my face, but looked up again as I heard a group of chattering girls enter the bathroom.

The second time I saw him, he was with someone.



A girl.

She looked about the same age as him and she had the same mysterious green eyes, though she had silver blonde hair instead of dark brown. They were sitting alone, at a table near the back. The girl was whispering something to Alistair, his face blank. The girl crept away from his face slowly, as to let her breath linger in his ear. He turned to face the girl, but then caught my gaze. I turned away quickly and spilled my carton of milk that leaked over the side of the wood table and onto my jeans.

"Crap," I muttered under my breath, as I mopped up the white liquid with a dozen napkins. I turned around cautiously to face Alistair again, and I noticed he was looking directly at me, this time laughing. I felt my face turn red as a fire truck. I looked around me, and it seemed like everyone was laughing too, even James and Kaylie, my nice friends. I groaned in frustration and scooted away from the table,

Answers

gee_jade

gee_jade says:

Posted on 10 Jan 2010

it's beautiful. though i would lighten up on the character's embarassment. wouldn't you want the nice friends to follow her to the bathroom and comfort her while still laughing. something like, "woah girl you okay?" kaylie asked still slightly giggling. "haha, very funny." I said as i continued to clean myself only this time slightly smirking as i realized how funny i looked. i mean come on i look like a 2 year old who peed my pants. i looked at her. she looked back with her ever present smile. at least it was ever present since two minutes ago. "what?" she asked. "i do look kinda funny don't i?" without a reply we both burst out laughing.



something along those lines. but it was a very good story. keep it up and keep updating us lol ^_^

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