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Tara

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queen_bree asked:

11 Oct 2010

I'm scared my family won't accept me...

So I just recently found out I'm bi.. (err, bi-curious, at least... I've never actually done anything with another girl) But I'm terrified that my family might find out, because I know for a fact that they wouldn't accept me. I come from a very Christian family and my grandparents on both sides pastor a Penticostal church. My mom and I don't go to church, but are still Christians (just don't *ahem* live the Penticostal lifestyle) But all of my family literally hates gay/bisexual people and they always talk about how digusting it is or say gay people are going to Hell... What should I do???

Answers

linahh

linahh says:

Posted on 11 Mar 2011

hunn listen up ok:)...ur family loves u and they always will ok...my sister told our mom she was gay and my mom kindah got lyk ohhh bt she told her ''mom if u rele love me then u will still love me bc i am still nno different then how u looked at me before...my love life changed and tats it so please dnt get mad or anything just please accept me for who i am''

vanillabb

vanillabb says:

Posted on 11 Oct 2010

Just keep it a secret , they don't need to know.. it's not like your lying or anything. & if they do find out it's not like thier going to hate you for it , it would just take some getting use to.

sena95

sena95 says:

Posted on 11 Oct 2010

Tell them the truth , i mean they are your parents , and they should know, and am sure they will accept you just the way you are honey , cuz if they dont then just stop talking about it , and keep doing what you like .

little_miss_sunshine

little_miss_sunshine says:

Posted on 11 Oct 2010

At the end of fthe day, their going to find out. You can't keep it a secret from them from all of your/their life-time. If you end up in a long-term relation-ship with a girl, then they'll have to find out, especially if you married.

They are the ones with the problem, not you. Everyone is entitled to their own sexuality and if they can't accept it, then its their problem. I think you should tell them once your in a safe position. I mean a safe position as in, you've got all your qualifications etc and your about to live on your own, just incase they pressure you to move out. Because if that happened and your still at school, then your dangering your future career.

My family are christian, but they dont have hatred towards people who are gay/bisexual, because hating people because they are diferent is not the christian thing to do. They have to accept that in this generation there is no hatred or bad feelings towards gay/bisexual people, and they have to get on with it.

Don't let them hurt your feelings or ruin your life. Tell them, but only when your ready, and when your in a position to do so.

And good luck, I admire that you can be open about this kind of thing. It'll be hard to tell your parents, whatever reaction you get, but you'll feel better once you've done so.

Anyway, put it like this: It's better that you tell them yourself than them finding out somehow or another. Your doing the right thing :)

Good luck, I hope it all goes well! :D

jod_mets

jod_mets says:

Posted on 11 Oct 2010

I think as your family they should be able to accept you for who you are. Obviously it would take them some time to be getting used to but time heals most wounds, you can choose to love whom ever you want too. It's your life, not theirs. If they have a problem with it, screw them. It's not like you can help who you're sexually attracted too.



*****Here are a few things to help you out that I found:



1. Practice an opening statement beforehand if it will make you more comfortable when the time comes.



2. Think about other times in your life when you've been in a stressful situation with your parents. This could be a cue to how they'll react when you reveal your bisexuality and may help you prepare.



3. Consider telling only one parent first if you think that will make the process easier. Many people find it easier to talk to one parent. Everyone's family is different; you must approach the situation in a way that works for you and your parents.



4. Be prepared for your parents to ask you certain questions. They may question whether or not you're sure you're bisexual, say they don't believe you, act as though you're just going through a phase or tell you that you'll grow out of it. Some parents may act as though you have a choice in determining your sexuality.



5. Understand that your parents may express feelings of shock, sadness or anger. They may be worried about how to tell relatives, neighbors and friends about your sexuality.



6. Give your parents some time to process the information you've given them. Not only do they have to deal with their own issues, they also must deal with society's stereotypes.



7. Remind your parents that you're the same person you've always been and that you love them.

mistress1209

mistress1209 says:

Posted on 11 Oct 2010

don't bring it up yet unless someone asks. they're gonna find out eventually, that's for sure. but opening up to them when you (or they) are not ready can get messy. I would also suggest talking to a family member who's open minded and is someone you can trust. He or she can help you get through. Your family will likely react to this negatively at first, but they will come to accept you.

bear14

bear14 says:

Posted on 11 Oct 2010

well if you're just bi-curious (as of now because you haven't actually done anything), i wouldn't tell them yet since you're not entirely sure. for all you know, it could just be a phase....i went through the same thing, being attracted to females and wondering how it'd be to actually be with one....but then one day i just knew i wasn't bi (long/different story)......if you know 100% that you are bi, then tell them when YOU are ready...but i wouldn't tell them until you know for sure

barbipixi

barbipixi says:

Posted on 12 Oct 2010

sorry girly but most people (especally nowdays) everyone thinks they are bi



and just cause you kiss a girl won't mean your bi. do you really want to make love to a girl and maybe consider having kids and raising them with a lady instead of a man?



i think it's fine to appriaciate a beautiful woman but you won't see me going home with one at the end of the night.



just keep that in mind. you're just a kid and it's pretty normal for kids to be curious

crazytay

crazytay says:

Posted on 13 Oct 2010

Just think of all the possibilities that your life will have if you choose to become bisexual or lesbian. Children. That's a big part of your life. I am sure God will give ou a sign. I am Catholic and I know God will love you either way!

megatron

megatron says:

Posted on 29 Oct 2010

I agree with Barbi, most people nowadays do think they're bisexual.

heck, I even did a year ago, but when i thought about actually loving and raising children with a woman opposed to a man, i realized that I wasn't bisexual or gay. just that i appreciated the natural beauty of women.

but if you really think you are, I wouldn't tell your parents until you absolutely, 100 percent positive that you are attracted to women in a sexual way.

I wish you the best of luck(:

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