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Payton Avery




10 Jul 1998


Hey :) My name is Payton, (go by Pay) and i love to stand out from the crowd. Im a model and play the tuba for my schools traveling symphonic band :)

More saduisahduiash dsau

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pay asked:

07 Jan 2012


If yall remember my boyfriend i talked about. the one who is 3 years older and we are now forbidden to see eachother. Yesterday he was hospitalized for the fear he has intestinal cancer. They had to run tests that dont come in till Sunday. They let him use his phone and he video chats me from the hospital but iv never cryed so much. I feel like im in a sudden nightmare! I wanna be his rock cuz i know he needs it but i just kept bursting out crying when i was talking to him becuase im scared. Im going to see him tom and im scared ill burst into tears again. im so depressed and its only been a day , i cant eat (i already have anorexia hes been trying to help me overcome) or enjoy anything. Im atheist but i still wonder why if theres a god hed do this to me. It feels terrible.. and i cant loose him. I cant. I dont know what to do. How do i help him??? and help me???



bumble_bee_123 says:

Posted on 07 Jan 2012

Cancer is probably the worst sickness on earth espically when someone you care about has it...Its always going to hard at first if it is cancer (lets hope its not) and let yourself cry botteling it all up is the worst thing you can do. Be strong for him and help him fight his way to recovery and try to be there 4 him as much as possible. Don't go back to the start with your anorexia it's not what he wants and I'm sure it's not what you want. I am a Catholic and sometimes I even wonder the same thing. All I've learnt is everything happens for a reason and in the end its always good and if its not its not the end

Don't bottle it up, be there for him, stay strong and believe in him that he will fight it as much as he can thats all you can do..


silence_ says:

Posted on 07 Jan 2012

I think you're jumping to conclusions. You said he was hospitalized for fear of it. Intestinal cancer is already rare as it is, so unless he eats a high-fat diet or having Crohn's disease, celiac disease, or a history of colonic polyps in his family then I wouldn't be too concerned, because these are the things that usually heighten the chances. Until you know for sure and the doctors have told him that he has it there's no point in being so upset over it.

The symptoms are:
Abdominal pain, cramps (i.e., after eating)
Unexplained weight loss
Weak or tired feeling
Nausea or vomiting
Bloody stool (may be bright red or black in color)
A lump in the abdomen
Loss of appetite

which to be honest, besides jaudice is what happens when I start my menstruation cycle, and the involves some of the same symptoms for a whole lot of other things. It's characteristics are vague.

So, my first order of advice to you breathe, and don't cry. They have not officiallly diagnosed him with anything. They are running tests and they could find out it's something else like an intestinal virus or so on. So, until you know for sure what it is (Sunday or sometime after) it's probably best to make him feel comfortable, and just make him feel relaxed/happy.

Let's say he does have Intestinal cancer, crying won't do anything, if you become sick yourself how will you help him? If you can't eat, he won't be too happy, you know that since he's helping you with his anorexia, that he wants you to be healthy and eat, so do it for him so he doesn't have more on his mind. The most you can do, is cam with him and keep his spirits up and help him to be stronger and support him at that point, because maybe there is something to "mind over matter" and maybe with that extra mental strength people can get better. Being depressed won't help anything, you're like 14 right? You're going to have to take a giant leap right now and just think logically.

1. You don't know the official diagnosis, could be anything. You need to remind him of that and keep his spirits up.

2. You being depressed, going back to anorexia, or doing anything that may impair your health, won't help you, won't help him, it won't help anyone. It may also cause you to have to go to the hospital as well, and then who will he have to look forwards to be strong, at least for this short while. You have to be healthy and you have to sort of thrust your psychological issues about your weight, or beauty , or anything that is making you sad aside just for him.

3. You have power in choice and you choose what you think and how you see things and how strong you want to be every day. So if he is diagnosed, you're going to have to choose to be strong for him , so that he too, will see that things will get better. He needs to undergo a few surgeries and treatment, possibly chemotherapy, and if it's found in it's early stages, then it increases the success rating.

4. It's okay to cry and feel bad. I personally, would not cry in front of someone I want to get better, but i'll show them I care and want them to get better by being around them every day...I *WOULD* however, seek someone to talk to, and someplace/someone to let out all my feelings to, that will help me think clearly and re-assure me that i'm doing the right thing. I would talk to family, close friends, and Even the people here will help you if you need a pick me up.

Sometimes we need to walk around wearing masks, in order to get through the day, this isn't a bad thing, however, it can become unbearable if you can't talk to someone about it.

As to the god factor..i'm an apatheist, which is a sort of atheist, and my mother is super christian. She has asked that many times under really hard times and conditions, and to be honest, the answer could be a plethora of things, maybe he's testing you, maybe he's trying to bring you two closer, etc etc . We don't know if a God exists, and if he does, how he works. Deists believe that he made us, and just left us alone, like a clock to run ourselves. However he works, one thing is for certain, sometimes our actions affect the outcome. For example , if a smoker smokes for years on end, sometimes, he'll end up with lung cancer. We already know that certain things in cigarettes causes the risk of lung cancer to increase dramatically, can't put all the blame on a God that you don't really know if it exists or not. Personally, being apatheist, I don't care if a God exists or not, in this situation, whether he did it or not, won't affect the fact that 'whatever is done, is done' (if he does have the condition, IF) . That's the fact, if he has it, he has it. you don't know if a god did it or other factors in his lifestyle/eating habits/environment contributed to it. So, you really should stop worrying about that question, and start worrying about him, as an atheist especially...but questions like that sound more agnostic (meaning you don't know, so you won't say there isn't one) , than atheist (meaning you don't believe in one at all)

Inspirational quotes will help you a lot during these times. You guys may want to watch movies together even if you're far away, or play games together, just to take his mind off things. He may be stressed out sometimes, and sad others, but if you want , you can give yourself the job and the power to make him happy everyday until he gets out of there.

Good luck and stay strong.


shmooshie says:

Posted on 08 Jan 2012

I agree with both of them, theres not much else to say, just Keep Praying!! il keep You and him in my prayers!
(p.s i was told when i was younger that i might have a cancer, they had to do a biopsy, it came back negative. It was only a 15% chance, sounds to me like this cancer is very rare too, so dont worry!!)
Good luck!

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