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Nicolette (Nicole, Nikki) Marie


ninja_nikki asked:

09 Jun 2010

Confidence is key.

Hey girls. I have a problem that I’m hoping you girls can help me over come. I have no confidence or self esteem what so ever. I also have telephobia which doesn’t help. Telephobia is the fear of talking on the phone, because you’re afraid of stuttering, slurring, and silence. So pretty much you don’t wanna make a fool of yourself on the phone. I’m also having a big confidence issue, because I get looked down upon a lot. (EX. I get looked down upon in church for being a vegetarian). My mom told me that people can tell that I have no confidence and self esteem. So I was wondering if you girls could give me some tips to be more confident and boost my self esteem up. I wanna be one of those girls who dosen’t give a sh!t about what people have to say. Thanxxs girlys. :)



lorii_grace says:

Posted on 09 Jun 2010

i ued to be so insecure.. :/

you need to come to terms with your insecurities. like, right now.. i can sit here and say to you... i don't have a perfect nose. i don't have perfect teeth. i have really short legs so i guess i see them as pretty thick. i have big feet! i have freckles in really weird, really random places! i have scars in weird places. i have weird eyebrows. i have shorts fingers. i'm pretty short all around. i'm not super skinny..

but that's OKAY. i don't mind any of it at all.. it just reminds me that i'm human and honestly, i love my friends BECAUSE of their imperfections. my best friend is stubborn and whenever there's a conflict, she can be a total brat. but i love that about her. i'm vegetarian too :) and some people think it's stupid.. but who cares? just find a different support community. just because one group of people thinks being vegetarian is stupid doesn't mean everyone does.

expand your horizons... for me, being around the same group of people all the time was hard. because it mean that they were all i knew - they were the only people i was regularly exposed to, which meant that those same people .. when they disagreed with something, it came down hard on me. you have to realize that there are so many people in the world and everyone thinks differently.

(this is assuming that you have no confidence because of fear of other peoples opinions, and the impressions you leave on other people, as well as interactions with others). one person might think stick-thin is ugly, while another person might see it as beautiful..

so idk if that helps, but that's something that i had to kind of learn for myself..


cute_wonderful_blondie says:

Posted on 09 Jun 2010

I like all the answers because I've got that problem too.... :( I think I'm the worst and the only thing I can tell about myself that's good is: none... I wanted to write something... haha but my mom says people don't like me sometimes because I look a bit...tooooooo like a person with very very high self-esteem and I look really not down to earth but if you get to know me, I'm actually under the earth... haha :)


gosupermodel_is_back says:

Posted on 09 Jun 2010

1Recognize your insecurities. What does that voice in the back of your mind say? What makes you ashamed of yourself? This could be anything from acne, to regrets, or friends at school. Whatever is making you feel unworthy, ashamed, or inferior, identify it, give it a name, and write it down. You can also tear these written pieces to start feeling positive on those points

2Talk about it with friends and loved ones. Wear it on your sleeve. Each day you should chip away at it; wear it down. There's no quick fix. Get to the root of the problem; focus on it and understand that you need to resolve each issue before you can move on. And that doesn't mean you have to get rid of whatever makes you feel bad (many times, you simply can't). You need to learn to accept yourself, your past, your circumstances as they are, without necessarily thinking of them as "bad".3Remember that no one is perfect. Even the most confident people have insecurities. At some point in any of our lives, we may feel we lack something. That is reality. Learn that life is full of bumps down the road.4Identify your successes. Everyone is good at something, so discover the things at which you excel, then focus on your talents. Give yourself permission to take pride in them. Give yourself credit for your successes. Inferiority is a state of mind in which you've declared yourself a victim. Do not allow yourself to be victimized. Express yourself, whether it's through art, music, writing, etc. Find something you enjoy. Everyone is born with talents and strengths. You can develop and excel in yours. If it's difficult to name two or three things you have some ability in or just plain love to do, think about things others do that you would like to do too and take some lessons or join an enthusiasts club. When you're following your passion, not only will it have a therapeutic effect, but you'll feel unique and accomplished, all of which can help build your self confidence. Plus, adding a variety of interests to your life will not only make you more confident, but it will increase your chances of meeting compatible friends!5Be thankful for what you have. A lot of the times, at the root of insecurity and lack of confidence is a feeling of not having enough of something, whether it's emotional validation, good luck, money, etc. By acknowledging and appreciating what you do have, you can combat the feeling of being incomplete and unsatisfied. Finding that inner peace will do wonders for your confidence.6Be Positive, even if you don't feel the same way. Avoid self-pity, or the pity and sympathy of others. Never allow others to make you feel inferior--they can only do so if you let them. If you continue to loathe and belittle yourself, others are going to do and believe likewise. Instead, speak positively about yourself, about your future, and about your progress. Do not be afraid to project your strengths and qualities to others. By doing so, you reinforce those ideas in your mind and encourage your growth in a positive direction.7Accept compliments gracefully. Don't roll your eyes and say, "Yeah, right," or shrug it off. Take it to heart and respond positively ("Thank you" and a smile works well).8Look in the mirror and smile. Studies surrounding what's called the "facial feedback theory" suggest that the expressions on your face can actually encourage your brain to register certain emotions. So by looking in the mirror and smiling every day, you might feel happier with yourself and more confident in the long run.

9 Fake it. Along the same lines of smiling to make yourself feel happy, acting confident might actually make you believe it. Pretend you're a completely confident version of you; go through the motions and see how you feel!

10Stick to your principles. It might be tough, but if you don't have something you can believe in, you don't have anything. If you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything. No matter what's happened in your life, you can always lay claim to the fact that from this day forward, you've followed your principles to the best of your ability.11Help others. When you know you're kind to the people around you, and are making a positive difference in other people's lives (even if it's just being kinder to the person who serves you coffee in the morning), you'll know that you are a positive force in the world--which will boost your self confidence. Just recognizing who or what your like inside will help you become that on the outside. Exercise helps you build strength and confidence, increases libido, and has a lot many other positive effects.


Exercise and eat healthy. Exercise raises endorphins and makes one feel happier and healthier. It is certainly an easy and effective way to boost your self-confidence.

When you are feeling terribly insecure, write down your positive traits and read them back. This feedback would give you surprising results.

Do not be afraid to push yourself beyond your physical or mental limits. Such a pressure would help you see how easily things can be achieved and thereby helps you hone skills. Step out of your comfort zone.

Condition yourself to talk positively about yourself. Every time your mind wanders and say you are not apt at it, pause for a minute, undo those negative vibes and say you can do. At least you should make an attempt to accomplish that daunting task. With that, you will learn more about yourself.

Avoid perfectionism. Perfectionism paralyzes you and keeps you from accomplishing your goals.

You can provide yourself with an extra dose of confidence by using the

Have a good group of friends that will support you in any decision making

Look forward to what lies ahead in the day or the future: try not to express any bad feelings in any way.


Do not get wrapped up in your mistakes and dwell on bad points. They could turn out to be a healthy contrast to your good points or even give you something to improve. There is no feeling like being good at something you were really bad at.

Do not mistake being loud for confidence. Some loud people cover their insecurities. If you are happy with yourself, you are confident.


vanillabb says:

Posted on 09 Jun 2010

I use to have no confidence either , nobody would ever hear me talk & I just got sick of being me.

My tips are smile , give people complements, laugh allot , & remember that it's all in your head & people don't care if you mess up or trip on what your about to say because everybody does it aswell, they'll understand.

Once you have confidence & your more talkative it would sooo be worth it , I enjoy life allot more than I use to a few years ago


ninja_nikki says:

Posted on 09 Jun 2010

Thank you, it's nice to know that I'm not the only one who was like that and will hopefully grow out of it. You seem like a very confident girl. :) So thanxxs. :)


ninja_nikki says:

Posted on 09 Jun 2010

Thanks this is really helpful!!! =D


ninja_nikki says:

Posted on 09 Jun 2010

Another thing in commen. XD :)

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