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Hailey Burns




08 Apr 1996

  • 177 Rank

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musicqs asked:

17 Jul 2011

Whattt the heck is wrong with me..?

So I havent had a bf since the end of 6th grade and Im going into 10th grade. While i was in 8th grade I had this thing with an 11th grader and we really really liked each other but then things ya knoww...fell apart and stuff. But now ever since, I say no to every one that asks me out....Idk why I do it either b/c I like some of the people who have asked me. I never used to care what people thought and now all of a sudden I care what people will think of me dating so and so. And like, I find one wrong thing with the guy and i dont like him anymore. Its really shallow and selfish and its pissing me off...idk why i do it! I keep telling myself to get over it and just date them. That i just have to move thro this little stage or whatever but i cant bring myself o do it. Now i have a thing with a guy and he wants to wait till school starts to date and im just afraid imma say no..idk if im just scared or something...HELP HELP plleasseee:P Thanks...



liannelovesmakeup says:

Posted on 17 Jul 2011

Hi, I'm a psychology student and I know a bit about people, so I might be able to offer some insight into your problem.
First of all, I think it's weird that the guy wants to wait until school starts to date you. What that says to me is he just wants to be seen as having a girlfriend, by everyone at school, so that maybe he seems cool or whatever, and he's not truly interested in you as a person. Also, he seems to be a control freak. Everything has to be on HIS terms, and if you give in, and wait until school starts and then start dating him, he will think he can control you and get whatever he wants, which is not good. I'd stay away from him if I were you. : /

About you finding things wrong with guys and then losing interest, I'd say that's a common thing that people do, and what it usually means is you're looking for reasons to get out of a relationship, or looking for reasons to keep your distance. It's usually out of fear of commitment, or fear of intimacy. People sometimes feel vulnerable when they get close to others or are in a relationship, and that's a scary feeling, so they take the first opportunity to bail out. It's very common, and it's nothing to worry about. You can just take your time and be picky about guys, there's nothing wrong with that! lol. If it keeps happening, and you're still bothered by this problem, you can do a bit of research on fear of commitment and fear of intimacy to learn more about them and what you can do about it. :)


shesallsmiles says:

Posted on 18 Jul 2011

i had a similar problem.
when i was in 8th grade, i was dating a 10th grader, and he cheated on me because i wouldn't have have sex with him.
After him, i found myself not really wanting anything to do with any others guys. i would start talking to guys, but finding myself not caring about them. i kind of got into the habit of treating the way guys had treated me in the past, and it was just a really bad pattern to be in. but one day, i woke up and realized that i had to get over the things in my past, get over the insecurities i had and my trust issues if i ever wanted to be happy and have a healthy relationship. i met this guy, and he treats me really good, and at first i tried to push him away like i did every other guy. but then i realized how stupid i would be to let someone like him go, and i pushed myself to give it a chance. my advice to you would be to date this guy that you're interested in now, and see where it goes, even if you find yourself wanting to push him away. take a chance. :)

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