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melissa marquez




06 Nov 1994

Im melissa!
I'm usually nice,but i get annoyed very easily |:

  • 136 Rank

  • 405 Points


missymm asked:

02 Sep 2009

Lacking Confidence,How do i get a boost?|:

Okay, So here's my situation... I'm not that shy, i will go up to random people and introduce myself and make friends(: I always do..But after awhile..I have all these friends.. and when i'm with my close group of friends which is like 1 girl and 8 guys, I won't shut up, P: but when I'm with like some other people, i tend to talk.. and stay quiet most of the time.. Because I don't have much to say.. It happens alot.. What are people suppose to talk about?! I mean i can't talk about stuff because most guys don't care. I smile tons, with my head held high, and shoulders held back..but I just can't keep a conversation.Help!? Sorry it's so long.




isthereareas0nf0rmetol0vey0u says:

Posted on 02 Sep 2009

Recognize your insecurities. What does that voice in the back of your mind say? What makes you ashamed of yourself? This could be anything from acne, to regrets, your weight, or friends at school. Whatever is making you feel unworthy, ashamed, or inferior, identify it, give it a name, and write it down.

Don't view yourself as inferior to others. Don't walk around with the subconscious mindset that others are better or more qualified than you, whether it's related to work, school, or just socializing. To a certain degree, it's good to walk around with a feeling of superiority. However, don't take this too far, or you'll come across as a jerk.

Talk about it with friends and loved ones. Wear it on your sleeve. Each day you should chip away at it; wear it down. There's no quick fix. Get to the root of the problem; focus on it and understand that you need to resolve each issue before you can move on.

Remember that no one is perfect. Even the most confident people have insecurities. At some point in any of our lives, we may feel we lack something. That is reality. Learn that life is full of bumps down the road.

Identify your successes. Everyone is good at something, so discover the things at which you excel, then focus on your talents. Give yourself permission to take pride in them. Give yourself credit for your successes. Inferiority is a state of mind in which you've declared yourself a victim. Do not allow yourself to be victimized. Express yourself, whether it's through art, music, writing, etc. Find something you enjoy. Everyone is born with talents and strengths. You can develop and excel in yours. If it's difficult to name two or three things you have some ability in or just plain love to do, think about things others do that you would like to do too and take some lessons or join an enthusiasts club. When you're following your passion, not only will it have a therapeutic effect, but you'll feel unique and accomplished, all of which can help build your self confidence. Plus, adding a variety of interests to your life will not only make you more confident, but it will increase your chances of meeting compatible friends!

Be thankful for what you have. A lot of the times, at the root of insecurity and lack of confidence is a feeling of not having enough of something, whether it's emotional validation, good luck, money, etc. By acknowledging and appreciating what you do have, you can combat the feeling of being incomplete and unsatisfied. Finding that inner peace will do wonders for your confidence.

Be Positive, even if you don't feel positive. Avoid self-pity, or the pity and sympathy of others. Never allow others to make you feel inferior--they can only do so if you let them. If you continue to loathe and belittle yourself, others are going to do and believe likewise. Instead, speak positively about yourself, about your future, and about your progress. Do not be afraid to project your strengths and qualities to others. By doing so, you reinforce those ideas in your mind and encourage your growth in a positive direction.

Accept compliments gracefully. Don't roll your eyes and say, "Yeah, right," or shrug it off. Take it to heart and respond positively ("Thank you" and a smile works well).

Look in the mirror and smile. Studies surrounding what's called the "facial feedback theory" suggest that the expressions on your face can actually encourage your brain to register certain emotions. So by looking in the mirror and smiling every day, you might feel happier with yourself and more confident in the long run. It also helps to talk to yourself in the mirror. It helps your speaking skills.

I am gorgeous, huh?

Fake it. Along the same lines of smiling to make yourself feel happy, acting confident might actually make you believe it. Pretend you're a completely confident version of you; go through the motions and see how you feel

Stick to your principles. It might be tough, but if you don't have something you can believe in, you don't have anything. If you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything. No matter what's happened in your life, you can always lay claim to the fact that from this day forward, you've followed your principles to the best of your ability.

Help others. When you know you're kind to the people around you, and are making a positive difference in other people's lives (even if it's just being kinder to the person who serves you coffee in the morning), you'll know that you are a positive force in the world--which will boost your self confidence. Go volunteer twice a month at an elementary school. Bake something for your neighbor for no reason. Confidence that you have earned is the most long-lasting.

Don't Care What Other People Think You shouldn't care about what other people will think or are going to think because what's important is that you are fine with yourself and if you're fine with yourself, others will be fine with you!

Remember If someone insults you and puts you down, just remember,that they are not perfect either.

Look at yourself in the mirror and list all of the positive qualities that you have. Doing this every day can help to build a better self-view of yourself.

Work hard- Keep on doing your work honestly. Have a target in your life.Focus on it. Do anything to reach that target and see how that inner feeling of confidence comes to you.


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Watch this video to learn a few crucial steps towards building your confidence.


Exercise and eat healthy. Exercise raises endorphins and makes one feel happier and healthier. It is certainly an easy and effective way to boost your self-confidence.

When you're feeling superbly insecure, write down a list of things that are good about you. Then read the list back. You'd be surprised at what you can come up with.

Turn feelings of envy or jealousy into a desire to achieve. Stop wanting what others have just because they have it; seek things simply because you want them, whether anybody else has them or not.

Don't be afraid to push yourself a bit - a little bit of pressure can actually show just how good you are!

Take a wilderness experience course such as those found at Outward Bound or NOLS. Learning how to survive in the wilderness will build your confidence in other areas of life too. You can also try taking a martial arts or fitness class/course (or both). This will help build confidence and strength.

Try to make yourself talk positively at all times. When you hear yourself saying you can't do something, stop and say you can. Unless you try, you will never know whether you are able to or not.

Everyone is beautiful in their own way; don't let anyone tell you differently. Remember to tell yourself that you are beautiful every day; even if you don't believe it, one day you will.

Money, luck, beauty, and all other material things are just an illusion of happiness. It misleads us to believe we will feel excellent if we have these things or have fun, but in the long run, you will discover that while these things aren't necessarily horrible, they are only mere satisfactions. You will realize having the American Eagle jacket, Nike Shoes, or an attractively rich person flirting with you is only a satisfaction, so you in the end you might feel glad you've gotten what you wanted, but you'll want more and more until you reach happiness. It'll be you just running for happiness blindly until you are worn out.

Happiness is not all about being lucky, attractive, or the best, but rather feeling joyful in yourself, letting go of your insecurities, and having real fun. Sometimes going clubbing is also what the media tags as being the most fun thing, and it can be, but you decide what feels wonderful and happily fun. The reason people also reflect back to their childhood as "the good ole days" is because that's when being the richest or prettiest doesn't count really, and when we were able to release ourselves and have true fun, feeling happy and confident.

Keep smiling all the time. It will help you feel more confident.

Say what comes to your mind; since your instinct thought of it, it's probably the right thing for you. Trusting your instinct will provide you with confidence to make the right decision at the right time.

Practice good posture. Our body posture represents what we are at that particular time. A simple habit that we can learn and implement is to stand and sit correctly. Your proper body posture will speak for you; how you stand sends out a message to the world, and in turn, back to you.

Avoid perfectionism. Perfectionism paralyzes you and keeps you from accomplishing your goals.

Write something on wikiHow! If you have a suggestion for anything, then share it. You will feel good for contributing, helping someone, and having your voice heard.

It is important that you take an oath every morning that you will do wonders today. Never think negative about yourself.

You can provide yourself with an extra measure of confidence by using the Best Me Technique of self-hypnosis to pre-experience the rewards of a long-term goal, thereby reducing or eliminating the need for "will power."

Self confidence is also about knowledge. Improve your knowledge on subjects which you feel are interesting.

Be true and honest to yourself. You will never be confident in yourself if you don't accept yourself and all the imperfections you may have because, although you may have imperfections, you have natural talents too. Also, you must accept the fact that you are not and never will be "perfect" but you are who you are. Finally, you may have high expectations for yourself but if you just work hard and play hard, that's all you can ask for.

If you spend a lot of time wondering or worrying what people think of you, try focusing on something else. Dwell on a book you just read, the state of the world today, Somali pirates... or just listen to music. You will feel better, develop your personality, and look much less awkward. If you happen to glance up and catch someone's eye, smile!

If a guy doesn't like you, don't try to be LOUD to be noticed, because most guys find it annoying. instead, keep your head up, smile, and move on because clearly the guy is missing out! Work hard and be happy.

Just be yourself that is the best way to build self confidence you should never compare yourself to a picture or a model or someone who is rich that is what gives you a complex about yourself!

You are awesome, no matter what people say to you. Nobody is perfect, so why bother thinking 'I'm not perfect' when no one is? Smile, have fun, do what you want. That will achieve happiness.


xiloveyoux says:

Posted on 02 Sep 2009

I totally agree with the other girl who posted. And i understand how you feel.

Your really pretty by the way :]


glamorus_miranda says:

Posted on 02 Sep 2009

you look like you would be a lot of fun to hang out with! i know you cant go wrong with talking about sports! LOL!

your a very pretty girl tooo!!


annarose says:

Posted on 02 Sep 2009

jeese, big answer there, yeh babe, ur gorgus so chin up and just dont change who u r for no1, just grin and if anyone dosn't like you, fill their waterbottles from the toilet



barbipixi says:

Posted on 02 Sep 2009

i talk about random things i see that are strange or unique

i even read bilboards or commercials anything that's handy to break the silence

also acting like you think your hot shite and your sexy can help you believe it after a while


fulltimepinklady says:

Posted on 15 Sep 2009

keeping a conversation with substance that people care about and so do you is very difficult, its almost easier to not say anything and let others do all the talking. just start with asking questions about others about themselves. People love to talk about themselves. the more talking you do the more naturally it will come, the less you do though the less naturally it will come.


missymm says:

Posted on 02 Sep 2009



midsummer_dreams says:

Posted on 02 Sep 2009

heeey, that first bit of advice about 'wearing it on your sleeve' & the rest of the paragraph, 'amaay' wrote that to me on my question. are you just copying & pasting? just wondering...

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