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May Cullen

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midsummer_dreams asked:

26 Aug 2009

Parents + Divorce :[

Okay so my 'rents are getting divorced. & Yes naturally im dead upset & all, but im not gonna go into that. I have to say im not shocked. They've been fighting for years & this was bound to happen. But im just dead confused about how im gonna cope. My mum is moving in this house she has. Shes gonna sell it soon though & buy another house out of the area . She says for now i can stay at the weekends with her but once she moves i can stay full time. But i wanna stay with my dad too! i love them both v.much. & she wont explain to me why they're getting divorced. Im sensing theres a long stpry behind it. My dads sister is always fillin his head with bad things bout my mum & my mums parents constantly tell my mum to leave my dad. Both sides are bitchy IMO. But i dunno the whole story here. Mum goes she'll explain it all to me once im old enough. but HELLO? i AM old enough. If i can handle the fact i was adopted & that my real parents gave me away to my parents now, i can deffo handle the reason behind my mum & dads fight. (my real parents are my 'uncle & aunt', jsyk)

, Oh & i was wondering bout custodies & shiz. From what iv heard or seen, if parents are divorced the child gets a custody or something? not even sure what it is.. so er, yeah..what is it? & will i still get it, cos im not BritishBorn ?..i came to britian in 2005

Answers

conner

conner says:

Posted on 26 Aug 2009

my stepdad and mom are in a divorce right now b4 she said she wouldnt tell me till I was older too but my sister ended up telling me he cheated. I was really upset. I go to my dads every other weekend (different school district) It becomes a life style. Trust me you will get used to it

emirossch

emirossch says:

Posted on 26 Aug 2009

oh my parents are just the same they have been fighting for years and years.. but its sorta the other way around i want them to split. i rather have the fighting stop then go on.. i cant stand it.. but my parents arent even married. sometimes i feel like they dont even care about me if they fight all the time.. hm.. i dont really know about the custody thing because well my parents havent actually divorced.. but i guess it might be good that you dont know the actual story on why their getting divorced maybe its for the best that you dont know..eventually she will tell you yeah i agree yr old enough to know maybe when the divorce stuff is all over and its been like a few months sense the divorce you can ask ... i dont think i helped much but i hope all comes well..

italian_knowledge

italian_knowledge says:

Posted on 26 Aug 2009

Boy oh boy u dont know how bad i feel for u but dont worry everything will work, if it makes u better u can think about ur parents happines and how everyone has 1 life to live and should be happy, i know it feels really really bad but dont worry, everything will work out ok. and dont push ur mom to tell u, she knows y not to tell u so trust her and myb in a couple of months or even years ask her, and u should tell her u want to hang out with ur dad too

hayley___hamm

hayley___hamm says:

Posted on 26 Aug 2009

me is sooo sory babe1 my parents r difforced 2......... im used to it tho but it was a shock for me......and custildy is wat the parents get. custidy of u that is and like the house and car and stuff... but once youve passed the age of 12 thenu can decide who gets custidy of u! which is pritty great!!! so i know difforce is hard, but stay strong...... youll be okay :)

barbipixi

barbipixi says:

Posted on 27 Aug 2009

i divorced from my hubby last year and we share custody with me being the main guardian



meaning i have izzy most and he can talk and visit her as he likes, with in reason



he can't just pop up and take her w/o telling me first and making sure we didn't have plans. and i'm a good person so i don't pretend anything to keep him from seeing her. i know we both love her and we will both always be a part of her life.



usually if the child is a teen then the judge will want to hear your side of the story who you want to be with and why and will consider it, but you can't go to 2 schools in one year so you will have to stay with one parent more often.



usually it's the mom and your dad will get you every 2nd and 4the week end for over nights and they split the holidays and school breaks.



and if you want to know what's going on you need to get them both together and tell them you think you should know what happend your a big girl and you are old enough to understand these things.



and it doesn't matter if you weren't britian born when they adopted you you should have became a britian citizen



and i'm in america so things may be a bit different but basicly the same

3nir

3nir says:

Posted on 27 Aug 2009

That's the problem. You don't listen to yourself. You just listen to those people who just want to rule your life in their way. If they don't like your life partner, they'll continuously backbite about his/her till you learn to hate him/her. Your mom and dad are grown up, in their words, can't you ask them are they really mentally matured? Life is not a game. If you're choosing someone to spend your life with, why don't you understand them fully. If you did, why do you listen to others opinion? I don't get it. Just tell your mom to tell you the reason. Without knowing it you can't do anything. If there's a problem, solution comes with it. If she's telling you're too young to understand, tell her that this is a lame excuse as you're told that you were adopted. That's a big thing and you handle it very well. So why not this time. I hate divorce. Seriously. And I'm sorry that you've to face it. That sucks.

ahroarah

ahroarah says:

Posted on 27 Aug 2009

so im "taking the side" of your parents in this one. your mumma probably doesn't want to talk about it. NO MATTER WHAT, splitting up with someone youve spent a portion of your life with is hard. she probably hurts inside, same as your dad. give it some time. let them establish the legal aspects of things and get separated before you ask again. just be a good daughter and help out however you can. be selfless. this is as hard for them as it is for you.

stefani_baybee

stefani_baybee says:

Posted on 30 Aug 2009

ive gone through my parents divorce ttwoo times.

once when i was a baby (14 months old)

and when i was 8 and thats when my mom broke the news to me that the man i was living with for 7 years wasnt my father..

and of course that was hard.

but if youre mom doesnt wanna talk about it, give her a little bit of time. becus my mama was CRUSHED when she went through it.

i know it doesnt seem fair that she wont tell you, but just give her a little bit of space/time.



and the custody thing.

the PARENTS get custody of the child(s).

thats usually when the parents go to court to get full/half/part/ or no custody of the child(s).

most of the time the kids dont get any say in it.

and i dont know what the age in britain is but its usually between 16-18 in U.S.

i know its hard, but you'll be okayy.

jutst make sure to give youre mom a little bit of time and space before attacking her w/ questions .

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