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May Cullen

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midsummer_dreams asked:

13 Sep 2009

my dads being way too controlling

okay okay i know hes doing it for my own good and he cares about me and all. but seriously, its WAY over the top.like, he doesnt lemme wear skirts to school even with tights. like i wear them with tights at home and stuff but at scool he wont lemme! & i hate wearing pants, they make me so uncomfy! i prefer skirtss. and then he doesnt even lemme walk down the road without him watching me from the window. all my other mates come home from school on their own, and he wont let me with 16 yeared olds! I mean, thats sorta OTT in manchesterr, cos no parents are this protective. then on clothing, he wudnt take me to my appointment unless 'i wear something over my halflseeved shirt'. its ANNOYING. and hes hinting he wont ever lemme have a bf and get me married off to whoever he wants. obv il have my choice, but he'l pick the options cos 'thats out culture'. well lemme tell you his own brother had a gf that he married and his cousin has had 3 gfs. hes being way too sexist. like thinkin boys should go out more than girls. i mean, i know he loves me and all and everytime hes out he calls me every hour to see if im okay and that. but honestly, how can i convince him not be so freaked about me? i know im his only child but really, this is almost suffocating. hes always asking me stuff like WHO YOU CHATTING TO, or WHY YOU SAYING THIS. like lay off me for a sec man! i know he cares bout he and stuff but really, i need my freedom aswell. even if its just a bit. i know i sound spoilt and PLZ dont hate. help, instead. theres a good idea!

x

Answers

ginger_e

ginger_e says:

Posted on 13 Sep 2009

its a good think that he cares about u and u still young so i am on ur dad side i am afraid. i think i would be the same if i was him

blamexkate

blamexkate says:

Posted on 13 Sep 2009

I have parents that are like that. There really is no way to tell your parents to stop caring so much. However maybe you should talk to a counselor at your school to learn to cope with it! I talk to my counselor about everything my parents do and say and while she doesn't tell me anything that can stop them, its great to be able to go to someone who understands and its also great to vent. Hope it all goes well

hayley___hamm

hayley___hamm says:

Posted on 13 Sep 2009

i get were ur dad is cumin from but that does seem a bit much! but he probly doesnt want u 2 dress like some of the other girls he probly seen in magazins and stuf. like he probly thinks girls who were skirts r sluts or watever. and im not sayin they r cus i love skirts! lol. but just tell him ur being sufficated and that he needs to let u off the lesh everyonce and a while!

hayley___hamm

hayley___hamm says:

Posted on 13 Sep 2009

and oh! i get y he wants to not let u wear stuff like that 2 school. idk bout ur school but at mine all the guys r pervs! and one day i wore a skirt an sum random guy pulled it up and grabed my butt! and another day i wear a cami and a guy pulls it down and trys 2 grap my boobs! and chica u dont want that 2 happen 2 u! so yeah i get wat ur dad is sayin just try 2 comprimise with him some how! hope i helped haha

hayley___hamm

hayley___hamm says:

Posted on 13 Sep 2009

im 13 so i know how u feel! but ur dad just cares babe!

rachelsauras

rachelsauras says:

Posted on 13 Sep 2009

he prolly sees skirts as

you wanting to be "sexy".

and if you're at home, then

it's okay cause no one will see you.

and since you're going to an all girls school,

maybe he thinks you're running with the wrong

"crowd" if you wanna dress in skirts n whatnot.

he obviously sees you as his little girl,

and wants to control you growing up.

like he prolly thinks if he gives you freedom over being out

of his sight, or showing off skin then there's more of a chance

of guys being interested in you and you maturing and

wanting to do things with them.

try and have your mum talk to him, maybe?

or talk to him yourself? don't be whiny about it thoo.

just point out some facts about how he's not treating

you and your brother or cousins equal,

and how he can trust you and you just want a bit of

freedom. assure him you want to do things for the

right reasons.

x

inclomplete_help

inclomplete_help says:

Posted on 13 Sep 2009

dont worry, my dads like that too but worse. im not allowed on msn or any chat websites, and if he knew i was on this he'd ban me, but i go on everything anyway. im not allowed to set a foot outside the house without either my mum or dad with me. i guess its just life, and some dads are stricter than others, just persuade him to trust u and let u do wot u want sometimes else hell take over your life for the rest of your life, thinkin its ok! stand up for yourself!! good luck :thumbup:

fulltimepinklady

fulltimepinklady says:

Posted on 14 Sep 2009

That is pretty bad but he is just doing it cuz he's scared...he's scared of what he sees and what could happen. It is scary because he hears and sees all these other girls-I mean seriously, look at the messes some of these girls have gotten themselvs into-and doesnt want you to go through that. But it sounds like he using rules to prevent this instead of getting to know you and finding out how likely you are to get into trouble. It's hard for parents i'm sure, to find a balance, he needs to know you can be trusted and not giving you some freedom can actually hurt you. Maybe talk to him and be honest about things big and small to let him know you arent trying to go behind his back so he will find it easier to ease up on some things, see if you and him can come to a compromise and let him see you want to do right but you also want to LIVE!

barbipixi

barbipixi says:

Posted on 14 Sep 2009

it is IMPOSSIBLE to change how you dad thinks. don't forget that. you have to know you're being taken care of by him and his house so try to make due. when you're 18 you can do as you please. and if he won't let you date until then, then you know you can date all you want when you're out of his house.



and fyi the first guy you date probly won't be the guy you're with for the rest of your life there are many fish out in the sea and quite a few will suit you : P



be glad you have the few freedoms at home. it could be worse he could make you wear covers over your face and hair and entire body : P



there is no way to make a sexist raised man change is mind about how girls and guys should live their lives. just make it through until you are able to make your own life and choices

myradiosayslala

myradiosayslala says:

Posted on 14 Sep 2009

i agree with blamexkate,maybe you could talk to your counselor

x

midsummer_dreams

midsummer_dreams says:

Posted on 13 Sep 2009

i was afraid of that. but think through my point of view too. its not like im gonna run off on my own into town, or im askin him to let me come home on my own either! Cos i know how the busses here are. but seriously, hes being stubborn on the skirt thing. im always wearing them at home and when im out but he wont let me in school. WHY? :S

ginger_e

ginger_e says:

Posted on 13 Sep 2009

ya but hes being protective from all thos wierdos and pervs out there. well the skirt thing at school ya i c ur point, i dnt think theres a problem in that.

midsummer_dreams

midsummer_dreams says:

Posted on 13 Sep 2009

AND its an allgirls school, so i dont see what the problem here is

midsummer_dreams

midsummer_dreams says:

Posted on 13 Sep 2009

no point. iv tried and he DOES think skirts are slutty and again 'arent part of the culture' wth lol. my own cousin wore i micro micro micro mini with transparent tights and shes 18! he wasnt annoyed with HER and shes also like his daughter so if she does sumthing rong he'll confront her. but im only 11!

midsummer_dreams

midsummer_dreams says:

Posted on 13 Sep 2009

:L i go to an all girls high school. but yeah he might be scared if i go home on my own one day :L

hayley___hamm

hayley___hamm says:

Posted on 13 Sep 2009

yeah i hope a girl wouldnt do that to u lol but yeah the streets can be dangerous...

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