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May Cullen

Large

Aries

Status

General
Female
03 Apr 1998

  • 45 Rank

  • 1383 Points

Questions & Answers

midsummer_dreams

midsummer_dreams asked:

over 9 years

Friendss? :|

Okay so me & my 'bestmate' have been close for like 5 years? But lately we've just been growing apart. Her parents always crowd her, and she doesnt even resist. We never see each other out of school anymore. And at school we fight like mad. Like, she's always put me down. And iv always tried to help her be more confident. Eg. In yr5, she wasnt allowed to wear shorts, so when she saw me wearing em, she tells me i have fat legs. A few days ago i teased my hair, first thing she tells me in the morning is: 'your hair is rubbish'. Then the other day she says infront of all our friends: 'btw that dress your gonna wear to the trip is nasty. Sorry but its true.' Right, does she really have to say that infront of everyone? And like, everyone else in our lil 'group' is always having a go at ME and stickin up for her, without realising it. Like, i'm sort of the slag of the group, just cos i have a little more interest in boys than any of them. So now I just dress to impress guys. (writing more.) So lately I started hanging out with this other crowd. Ok before I used to hate them (they know tht, i havn't exactly made a secret of it. Everyone knows i used to hate em.) But now its like, idk i get along better with them. And some of them have had bfs, so atleast i aint the 'slag' anymore (iv never even had the bf. They didnt actually call me a slag, but yknow, it was obv what they thought. They'd tut whenever I talk about guys.) But the problem with this new crowd is, they're the 'popular' ones. They tend to bully alot of people. They were even trynna bully my bestmate, but I told them to leave her alone. And no, im not hanging out with them just to be popular. Im already very popular among everyone, and even they know it, and also that i dont give a shit about it. Now my bestmate confronted me about why im suddenly hanging out with them (so it takes her 5 days to notice)? Me: We argue too much. Her: Well we didn't even argue recently. Me: Well maybe your better off without me? I aint mad at you. Just si

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midsummer_dreams

midsummer_dreams asked:

over 9 years

does my hair looks good curled?

now its curled & teased but, bleh. sorta messyyyy but yeah xD ignore my mazing grandpa glasses with no frames xD (they're actually 3D glasses.), or does it look better straight? Mind you, this is actually really messy. It wouldve been properly curled if i hadn't teased it.

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midsummer_dreams

midsummer_dreams asked:

over 9 years

CONFUSED.

Yeah, I DID write that in capitals. That's how confused I am |: Okay so, I've always considered myself straight. But now i'm starting to sort of doubt it. I've always been really boycrazy, so I never gave a second thought to my sexuality. But jeez, lately its like, i've sort of been attracted to girls. God this is wierd, its like, not with every girl obv. With a few girls I see, I just WANT to get closer to them. (not physically, though *cringe* I wouldn't mind that either). Its so confuzing. Before when I used to hug girls, I didn't ever give that a second thought. Now its like, jdgfbhb i read too much into the hug. I don't even know how to describe it. I mean, i'm deffo not a lesbian, because i'm still sort of boycrazy, only difference is i might be into girls aswell >< i've seriously never considered myself bi. Iv only told 3 people, (one of them a lesbian, so she'd nderstand) bcas the rest of my 'friends' would be just judgemental. So my main question is, how do I find out if i AM bi? It might just be a moment thing. Or maybe its cos i'm in an allgirls & I havn't talked to a boy face2face in, oh, how long? But none of my other friends are like that |: So uh yeah, it is strange. Helpppp? (please don't be judgemental, |: ) (Heehee bored, so thought i'd attach a piccy :D), Btw my friends are really greaaaat. Two of them, i've known for 5 years. Its just that, this 'bi' this might freak them out. & I don't want 'em to treat me any differently., Maybe 'tis bit quick to close the question but bleh, think i found the answer i needed xD

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midsummer_dreams

midsummer_dreams asked:

over 9 years

your opinion on my hair?

:) i look rather rubbish on the picture above ^ ignore my face(: heres another one, when its not teased or straightened, & another, this is when its quite messsy:), i don't really like em that much ne more. Sppose i change them, any ideas to what i should change em to? thankyou:) x

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midsummer_dreams

midsummer_dreams asked:

over 9 years

Antisocial?

Right this is dead wierd. Everytime I'm like, a gathering like a family dinner or a party or something, I always feeel like, idk, lonely? & I can't stand to be around too many people. Like for example my cousins 16th. She had a small family gathering & all through it I felt sorta depressed, & just went in her backgarden and sat by myself for ages. Its like, I hate being alone yet at the same time I hate being with people. & I hardly have a tolerance for people. Everyone pisses me off. At times I hate everyone. It doesn't help that my father is quite strict & don't lemme out much. Also I'm sick of girls, I go to an allgirls & idk when was the last time I talked to a guy? But like, my dad probs wouldn't let me meet up with guys & tbh I get along better with guys than girls. So, uh, helppp? Ps. Its been agessssss since I last came on here, missed you guysss! :D

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midsummer_dreams

midsummer_dreams asked:

almost 10 years

another story starting, was bored ;D x

it probs aint that good cos i just made this on the spot but, hey, cut me some slack ok? :P im only 11. (well, almost 12, butyeah..) I looked around at the surroundings. It was a very dull sort of place, with lots of tall, concrete buildings and an unanimated, grey ground. Graffiti was etched on almost every inch of the walls. The ashen black sky fitted in nicely with the lifeless decor. I took a deep breath and looked at my watch. 3:05 am. Somewhere above me, a crow croaked. I shivered. I wondered why he had called me here, and so late aswell. I knew I was a fool for following his instructions. He was dangerous, and I knew it. Then why did I come here? On my own? I heard heavy footsteps behind me, bringing me out of my thoughts. I spun arounnd so fast, I almost lost my balance and fell. And then I saw him. It was like someone had just punched me in the stomach; all the breath was knocked out of me. I observed him greedily, wanting to take in as much details as my eyes would allow. His dark hair flopped casually over his forehead, his eyes an impossible shade of green. He was dressed in jeans and a dirty, checked shirt. One of his boots were falling apart, and there was dirt smeared on some parts of his face. But despite all of this- despite the shabbiness- he was beautiful. More beautiful than my heart could take. , He walked warily towards me, as if scared of frighting me away. His lips twisted into a small, winning smile. "I knew you would come. I knew it." he whispered. I realised I was holding my breath. I slowly let it out. "W-why did you call me here?" I whimpered. I could've kicked myself. Couldn't i just control myself around him?! He just simply started at me, his eyes tracing my face. "why did you call me?" I repeated, my voice braver. "Im sorry." His smile had vanished. His face was much more serious; more aged. Fear swam through me. "W-what do you mean?" I whispered, terrified. "Im sorry." He repeated. There was now

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midsummer_dreams

midsummer_dreams asked:

almost 10 years

wow, havn\'t been on here since frevers!

Firstly I wanna say hello to everyone ;D hows everyone been? god i havn't came on here since agesssss, missed you all :D Anywaays, I just wanted to ask yous about self esteem issues. I know iv asked this many times but problem is.. for a while, like, 5 months, my selfesteem was normal. Like, i was pretty confident and everything and was finally starting to like myself. But yesterday, idk what happened.. i know this is gonna sound dead strange.. but a guy from my primary added me. (i was bullied in primary) and he bullied me a bit too. I didnt know whether to accept him or not, so i didn't click anything just yet. later that night, i just had this awful dream.. about the bullying yimes in primary. it was so realistic, and pretty much showed how an ordinary day wouldve been for me. And that reopened all the awful memories iv been trying to close. I woke up the next morning and layed in bed for ages, and idk.. my selfesteem went low agaain. (writing more.) and it doesnt help that people started calling me 'emo' again. jesus christ, idgi. how the hell am i an emo? do the little gimps even know what 'emo' means? :@ i suppose il have to dress in hoodies and start speaakin all gangsta to get approved by them :@ like, one of my cousins friends started calling me an emo and started giving me shit, then some randum girl i dont even know said the same thing to me. God im so sick of this all! Im not even confident enough to walk down my own street without geting terrified! And idk what to do tbh. At times i randumly start shaking and having panic attacks etc, and i have had depression and selfharming problems. Im still getting over the whole depression thing, and i dont wanna like, be like that again. when i was depressed i would like, lock myself in my room all day. i wouldnt eat, wouldnt talk, wouldnt smile. wont even cry much, just stare at walls and like, let time pass. was awful. i dont wanna be like that again "/

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midsummer_dreams

midsummer_dreams asked:

almost 10 years

okayy.. *sighs* boy problemms.

so theres this guy iv known for over a year now. Iv just know him online & stuff, never actually met him. But like i had him on bebo so we've seen each others pics & hes bin on cam and all. Catch is, theres quite an age diffrence between us. 3 - 4 years . & he was wayyy careful abt that! But yeah we did like each other and stuff. and this was like a year after talkin to each other that he admited he liked me too. but he was v.careful not to talk about sex or stuff cossa the age diffrence. AND he made it clear that we probs wudnt meet until im like 15 or sumthinggg. im just trynna point out he isnt sum randum pedo or anything. but thing is, whenever i get into a 'thing' (not QUITE a relationship yano?) with a guy, i start feeling sick and trapped. i never imagined id feel like tis with him too, but apparently i did. and then idk what happened, i just acted like a coward and deleted my account i had him on and his number and stuff. but now like quite alot of months have passed and idk. i feel like such an idiot. why did i randumly try to get rid of him like that? iv known him fr a bloody year fgs! so i wanna know if i should add him back? i knw he did like me & was careful arwnd me cossa my age. And tbh mentally im older than 11 so like, i act + look older. deffo act older. should i add him? and if so, what excuse should i make for blankin him all this time? i could say i deleted my account and forgot to add him to my new onee. (jsyk, my stupid acc wont get deleted. i signed on yday to check and it WASNT deleted! i think it loves me too much. it REFUSES to delete. stupid account.) and i told him not to text me no more cos i gave the sim to my dad. Eughhhh, i dunno why i decided to DO that! help, pls :/ & btw dont bother telling me about online saftey and that cos i knw. 1) im talkin to YOU guys onlne aswell. this is a social networkin site too. 2) im real lcareful, trust me on that. 3) il be quite older when we DO meet, he made it clear that much & 4) il make shure he exists an

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midsummer_dreams

midsummer_dreams asked:

almost 10 years

Urgh.

ok tbh i get along much better with boys. i like to keep a balance. i dont wanna have all girl friendss. like whenever i get fedup with girls, i go to the boys. i know its stupid, but i just prefer having guy friendss. (NOT boyfriends). but thing is, i go to an allgirls school and its 'unnatural' for me to have boymates, or so my prnts say. so apparently m not allowed to hang out with boys, incase i start dating them. wth man, now im not even allowed to be MATES with boys? its so daaft. i get along so much better with them! I cba sneaking out & making boy mates, cos its just too stupid & complicated. not like im having sex with them or kissing them or anything! What should i do? If i talk to my prnts theyl just be like NO ITS NOT IN OUR RELIGEON & blah blah blah. Its so irritating!

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midsummer_dreams

midsummer_dreams asked:

almost 10 years

DLS (dirty little secret)

whats yours? :D if you dunno what im on bout, watch the video of Dirty Little Secret by The All-American Rejects. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ikv7TI87io xD aha just so yous know, its not a biggie. i dont mean something very secret. i just mean stupid things like.. example: my dls is i likee to eat chocolate spread straight out the jar xD

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midsummer_dreams

midsummer_dreams asked:

almost 10 years

what the heck.. ?

ok so theres this girl in my class. she seems a little obsessed with me. i know for a fact she always wanted to be good mates with me.. but if i hang around with her, she expects us to follow her around. & i dont follow people around. im perfectly happy with my own grouup. But shes no irritating. Everything iI say she mimicks it, in a 'joke'. She always interferes with me. And then her bestmate (i was good mates with her before) now going on @ me that im 'blankin' her. wtf dude? just cos i dont talk to her much? i mean, if she talks to me, id talk back. she cant expect me to tail her arwnd trynna talk to her. She just started going on @ me on msn soon as i signed on. hnstly. And tday the first girl started giving me dirty looks randumly cos i was just having fun ( i had a scarf around my forhed, like one of em 80s gstas ;]) . and started talkin bout me. everytime im talkin to others she trys to talk to em. i know this swnds relle immature but it COULD get serious. one of the girls is bestfriends with a year 11 & she could get her on me. she probs wont but sppose we start fighting ? iv alredy been bullied before in my oldd school. If its jelousy, i dont relle wanna get bullied in here too. Why cant people just let me be? She wants to be popular.. i aint stopping her. i dont even WANA be popular (if thats why shes jelous) ! what should i do ? we've only been in the sme school for 3 months, why do they expect me to be such gd buddies with em? I dont talk to anyone much apart from the griup i hang with. why do they keep thinkin im ignoring em? idiots.

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midsummer_dreams

midsummer_dreams asked:

almost 10 years

anyOne watches Xfactorrrrrrr?

if so, who dyu want to win? tbh i really like stacy (y) & daniel (y) & jamie (y) ahaha. & olly s'well. Srsly, chudnt Rachel have gone through? I mean like, HONESTLY. shes CLERLY a better singer than Lloyd! He just got voted for cos hes GORJUS. well ok yes he is heartbrreakinly beautiful

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midsummer_dreams

midsummer_dreams asked:

almost 10 years

Newww Haircut! You Like.. ? xD

got it cut agaaain. another pic, hpefully it'll show?, YAY it did. another one.

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midsummer_dreams

midsummer_dreams asked:

almost 10 years

Sheeeeesh.

they should have a live chat in 'ere. But since they don't.. Haha, hows everyone? Telll me 'bout your day or wever. im bored. Mine waz okkk. I got a haircut (yes,AGENN!) . its a bob, i relleeeee OMG IM IN , http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qC_hF31z130&feature=related best song evurrr :3 XDD

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midsummer_dreams

midsummer_dreams asked:

almost 10 years

weight questions; i relle wanna help her!

okay so shes like few of the closest people to me + is like my bestfriend. We've known each other since we were 6. Shes chubby, but not fat (she think she is no matter how much i tell her.) then she told me that one of her ex-teachers told her mum to get her to excersize and she was so hurt she started crying (of the 5 years iv known her, shes never cried ONCE infront of anione. it was the biggest shock ever, watching her cry. shes always laughing) but blahblah whatever.. point is. she wants to lose weight + i want to help her. TIPS & ADVICES ON DIETS AND HEALTHY EATING AND EXCERSIZING AND STUFF? would appreciate it x

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midsummer_dreams

midsummer_dreams asked:

almost 10 years

okay so im now officially sick of my parents.

my dads makin me crazy! hes gone striccter on me than ever before. He never let me go on sleepovers, or out with mates anywhere. He doesnt even let me go to their houses for the day unless he & their parents are mates! And he never let me wear skirts or shorts or sleevless & stuff. Not even at school ! (i go to an ALL-GIRLS ffs) yesterdat he started shouting at me cos i went out with him widout a jacket on.. i was wearin knee lengh jeans and a halfsleeved top. wtf? not like i was dressin like a slut! He started shouting at me the whole way. And when i talk to my mum shes like OK IL TALK TO HIM and she doesnt actali relle give a fuck. shes getting divorced apparently from him but wont move out the house. then she complains that my dad wont let her go. She doesnt care bout me much at all tbh (i know what im saying. and its not just cos im angry. its a long story). My dad interferes in EVERYTHING. my mate says summt to me on mssn and he goes WHY SHE SAYING THAT or summat. WTF man. okay i know he loves me & all but this is TOO over the top. whats the point if i end up disliking him? im not a 7 yeared old. i need privacy. iv started puberty (periods etc) and i need personal space but he butts into everything. He sumtimes trys reading my texts.. what if my mate is saying sumthing bout period pains? THATS why i need privacy but he doesnt GET that. iv tried being calm with him and talkin him throo and iv tried banging doors. so far so bad. any help? and does anyone else have such freak-control 'rents? D: D:

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midsummer_dreams

midsummer_dreams asked:

about 10 years

LOL why do i always fancy people out of my league?

I might be losing my mind here but watch this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p8FypIX67xo&feature=player_embedded aint Noctis adorable? :') (hes some game character of Final Fantasy. never played it but ever since i watched this video i (cut off what i said) "..but i ever since i watched this vid i

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midsummer_dreams

midsummer_dreams asked:

about 10 years

I wrote a story! :D (well, the start of it.. i just like writing beginiings then ditch it.) judgee?

I looked up into his venomous eyes and my lips curved into a mysterious smile. I don't know why I was smiling. He was about to kill me, as far as I was concerned. His eyes narrowed. "What's funny?" he snarled. I smiled wider. I stared deeper into his eyes, trying to make sense of this beautiful beast. The same eyes that once fooled me, that once hypnotized me, were a fierce colour of red, full of hatred and anger. But deep in his eyes, I could see regret. I could see a tragic past, suffering, pain. He pressed the knife harder against my neck. There was sweat on his forehead, which was mainly covered by a few strands of his dark brown hair. "You gonna tell me what's funny?" "And if I don't?" I challenged him. "Gonna kill me? Wow, I can't imagine what THAT'D be like!" I couldn't believe it. I was seconds away from death and I was giving it more reasons to come and snatch my life from me. BLAH CBA NO MORE ;) hows it so faar? x

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midsummer_dreams

midsummer_dreams asked:

about 10 years

whats the perfect guy for YOU?

ok so perfect guy for everyone is diff! for me, i would love it if my 'mr.right' was like this: Gives me space, Isnt too pushy, has a good sense of humour, lets me hang arwnd other boys, trust me, is trustworthy himself, is a romantic, isnt too interested in sex, loves me for what i am, doesnt start telling me he ''loves' me just a few weeks into the relationship cos LOVE is a deep word & shudnt be thrown around, takes me on twilight walks for no reason ;D (ha this ones optional), doesnt treat me any diff cos im a girl (ino giving your jacket to you when you're cold is sweer [&&] all, but relle.. i dnt need him being all manly with me. i can take care of myself just fine thankyou), is someone i can share my troubles with and isnt too forward. i know that swnds alot ha but it'd be nice if he still has SOME of these ^^ how bout you? XD XD XD

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midsummer_dreams

midsummer_dreams asked:

about 10 years

Mix'N'Match! (have it CRAZY, okk?)

ok so instead of buying alot of new clothes, i wanna mix and matched things i already have. Ideas how to? I want ideas on stuff i have, normal stuff like tees or jeans or shorts and stuff like that. I also want ideas on how to have CRAZY accesories and stuff. Ya get what Im saying? I want it as funky [&&] crazy as possiblee! xox Also, any ideas how to change simple/ugly clothes? like a plain pair of jeans.. should i cut them or sumthing? orr old shirts and stuff.. x

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