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Catriona H




23 Apr 1997


I am from England, and I'm at secondary school... I have a brother and I live with my mum aand my dad, i have two cats who are verrrry cute :) I love dance, horse-riding and shopping, i am in love with fashion, which is a shame really because I don't reeeally have enough money More saduisahduiash dsau

  • 103 Rank

  • 646 Points


little_miss_sunshine asked:

02 Mar 2012

My friends dad just died today, how do I act around her?

My friend was off school today and at the end of the day she called me and told him that he'd had a second heartattack and sadly passed away. I personally am still in shock as I had talked to him loads whenever I went round theirs and he was one of the most lovely people I have ever known. She's dealing with it in s very jokey way and saying she's fine when of course she's not. She's even posted loads of stuff on Facebook which I wouldn't say is appropriate as it happened today. I'm not sure how to act and how to be there for her. I've personally never been in this position before or had someone I know well die. I was wondering if anyone had any pointers from experience which will help me to be a good friend to her. Thankyou so much for the answers so far, I really appreciate it. I think this week I will be sympathetic and talk to her about it and then next week try to take her mind off of it x



jackie_walsh says:

Posted on 02 Mar 2012

Hey Kat,

It's hard to know exactly what to do, cause each situation is different. She's probably still in shock and her acting jokey is just a form of denial. Honestly, there's nothing much you can really do other than be a good friend. I would just tell her how sorry you are and that if there's anything you can do, just ask. Going to the funeral (if you can) will be one way of showing your support. You could also send her a card or something. After that, I think acting natural is really the best thing you can do. It's going to take her some time, but eventually she will want to do normal stuff. So my advice: just be a good friend and realize she may be acting a little weird because of the stress she's under.


dragana94 says:

Posted on 02 Mar 2012

Like Jackie said,everyone acts different,she's not fine she's just in shock,and jokey style is just her way of dealing with pain.Just be there for her,don't push things,say if she needs anything you'll be there,beside that act normally.Be little more understanding than usual.


babyblue says:

Posted on 02 Mar 2012

The same thing happened to my best friend who lost her dad to cancer and I didn't know what to do . I tried avoiding mentioning my parents since I didn't want her to feel like she doesn't have them as close. Like both of the bottom answers give her time and she'll start accepting the situation . My friend also jokes about what happened , saying things like " haha I guess I gotta start celebrating fathers day with my mom every year " She laughs about it but you know what they say that behind every I dont care , theres always some truth or emotion . Her mom started dating another guy and she hates him but I was there for her to listen . So whenever she feels lonely be there for her and make her laugh .


liannelovesmakeup says:

Posted on 03 Mar 2012

Sounds like she's just distracting herself from the grief right now, which is normal, and yeah, she's still in shock.

I lost my brother to cancer almost 3 years ago, and I've experienced the whole grief process and all the different emotions it brings up. When people have avoided mentioning my brother or his death, I was annoyed. I realize people find it awkward, but I think the best thing to do when someone is grieving is to say something, ANYTHING. lol Saying something is better than saying nothing. Don't worry if it sounds 'appropriate' or anything.

When someone is grieving, they just appreciate it when someone acknowledges their loss.

You could say something like "I'm very sorry for your loss. I know this must be a really rough time for you. You're in my thoughts (or prayers)."


moonlytkitty says:

Posted on 03 Mar 2012

Like LianneLovesMakeup, she's distracting from the grief right now. If she seems down, comfort her while staying cautious. Be careful to what you say, because saying the wrong thing could hurt her feelings and even ruin your friendship.


itsjustjenna says:

Posted on 07 Apr 2012

based on the personality that you explained, I think that she probably needs to spill her feelings out to a close friend(you). She is probably dying inside.


itsjustjenna says:

Posted on 07 Apr 2012

don't be too forceful when trying to get her to tell you her feelings. also, sadly, it usually takes some sort of breakdown/fight to get someone to speak up.

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