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Lily

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Leo

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Female
06 Aug 1990

  • 176 Rank

  • 292 Points

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lily_billy asked:

05 Jan 2010

is it me?

Okay ive been living with my boyfriend for about four months now and i think his getting tired of me or something cuz he stopped hugging me and kissing me. i mean he just gives me a quick kiss before bed but thats it. i mean what the heck? is it me? am i that ugly? fat? what?!!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?????????????????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!! =[

or am i over reacting? and yes ive talked to him and he says its not me.

and then gives me a kiss and continues watching tv, and its been going on for about a year now.. i havent noticed at first but yeah.. here i am.

Answers

3nir

3nir says:

Posted on 05 Jan 2010

If that is your profile picture then I would say that you are NOT ugly. How long are you two dating? It kinda depends on that you know. Maybe he's not tired. Maybe something is bothering him.

stephskylit

stephskylit says:

Posted on 05 Jan 2010

I know what yoy mean, ive been living with my boyfriend for aboutr a year & eight months now. It isnt you..well i find that they need space, just like you would too. When you live together you see eachother all the time. If it gets worse, then have a serious talk about it with him.

barbipixi

barbipixi says:

Posted on 05 Jan 2010

i've been dating my bf for over a year and we still snuggle and kiss alot



and yea it really isnt you if you haven't changed. he's just gotten lazy cause he think's he's secure he doens't realize you have to give love and attention to the person you care about to help re-assure them that you still care.



you need to have a heart to heart that you need that same attention you know you're both more comfortable with eachother now and things are always slower after those first few months but you still need that attention

ctl888

ctl888 says:

Posted on 05 Jan 2010

I have been living with my boyfriend for almost 2 years. We still snuggle and kiss and are still lovey-dovey. But I know that some guys when they are secure and confident they have you then all the honeymoon stuff kinda dies down. Guys are also very different then us girls. Their minds thinks on a different wavelength. Try not giving him hugs and kisses....let him approach you and see if it changes. Go about your business and your daily routine...do not ignore him.. or else he will think something is up but just do not give him the usual kisses and stuff. Then he will eventually miss it and come up to you asking for it.

shysparrow13

shysparrow13 says:

Posted on 06 Jan 2010

it's DEFINITLEY not you! all guys act like this and all girls go through it and think THEY'RE the problem! i don't know why, but guys are like animals and they get bored VERY easily. Take the Tiger Woods incident for example, (I'm not saying your bf is like him in this situation) but all men, want to feel masculine and want to have what they don't already. They're very protective and hostile and will do just about anything for sex. I'm not saying your bf is doing this because he seems very loving and passionate, but he might want some space. Talk to him and tell him how you feel. He obviously still loves you but isn't getting the message. Tell him you love him too. Sorry, I don't really have enough experience to answer this question, but from what I do know this is what I can tell. Good luck! :) xoxo

atrocityrabbit

atrocityrabbit says:

Posted on 06 Jan 2010

I think that at a certain point all guys no matter how old, do this. Maybe go out to a sporting event or do something together, and show him that you really care, and that your worried. Maybe, he's stressed out by something else, and you're very pretty so it isn't you. He seems like a decent guy, so maybe just be patient, even though that's the worst advice ever. Good luck with you and your bf. Happy 2010! :)

fulltimepinklady

fulltimepinklady says:

Posted on 06 Jan 2010

its one of these two problems:



1. he's taking you for granted/losing interest

2. he's comfortable



hopefully its the last one. its up to you to figure it out and act accordingly. you know him better than we could help. if youre sick of waiting around for an answer and want to know soon then give him teh same treatment more drastically bu not too much. maybe move out, or dont be around as often or let him now you have a life with or without him and are going to do your own thing if he wants to join then its his choice. but dont cling on let go but be there if he asks or wants to join totally let him but let him know youre not going to get bogged down by his ignoring you or forgetting you or just plain not treating you as nicely as he could.



ive had to do it to two guys. the first one i found was taking me for granted and we broke it off eventually. he acted just like you described actually worse



the other started acting like that after a year and a half and got scared when i started pulling away and he came back and now i keep my space to an extent and he treats me well. but we are more comfortable and dont do things exacly the same so i can see how four years it is more likely a comfort issue than a loss of interest issue.

lily_billy

lily_billy says:

Posted on 05 Jan 2010

i did talk to him, and i told him if he wants me to move out and he begged me not to.

lily_billy

lily_billy says:

Posted on 05 Jan 2010

yeah it is..=/

we been dating for four years now. [four being in may]

lily_billy

lily_billy says:

Posted on 05 Jan 2010

i did talk to him and he told me that he still does those things..

i just think he stopped trying at all.

we been dating for four years and for about a year now his been like this now.

but he wants to get married to me and im just thinking if this is how his going to act while we are married then i really really dont want that. ek but i love him. =[

lily_billy

lily_billy says:

Posted on 06 Jan 2010

yeah thats what im actually doing right now and he doesnt really care..

lily_billy

lily_billy says:

Posted on 06 Jan 2010

thanks. =/

lily_billy

lily_billy says:

Posted on 06 Jan 2010

=[ he is a good guy but he doesnt stop trying at ALL. =[

ctl888

ctl888 says:

Posted on 06 Jan 2010

humm.. let me think.. do not get depressed over this okay? I will send you another message abou it.

lily_billy

lily_billy says:

Posted on 06 Jan 2010

yeah but see i do give him space this is what he does all day and every day.. wakes up brushes teeth takes a shower eats goes online plays online games with his buddies eats watches tv plays more games with his buddies. we only go out when his friends want to. he still takes care of me and all and still talks to me sometimes but not as much and his way to comfortable around me its kinda getting to me cuz he use to be kinda clean now he doesnt care if theres dirty stuff around him now. its grows but i take care of that i dont mind. now its more and more of it.. he kinda trys but not as much anymore.. plus i cant find a job here and im stressing out over everything cuz the bills are stacking up nor him and i cant get jobs cuz no one is hiring anymore so thats adding to the stress. =[

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