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Jessica

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26 Dec 1995

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jessd asked:

29 Sep 2009

family issue

Im always in the middle of everythingg.. im the one who goes back and forth from place to place.. ( not my brotherss ) im the one who ask my dad for child support.. and when my mom and stepdad are fighting i cant tell my dad.. and sometimes i tell him , because i need to get it off my chest and than they get into a big fight.. than my mom gets mad a me because i told him.. . this is want is happening today..



heres the letter my mom left me..



JESSICA. WHEN I GET HOME WE NEED TO TALK. I AM VERY ANGRY WITH YOU. I TOLD YOU BEFOFRE ABOUT TELLING DADDY MY BUSINESS ON WHAT GOES ON IN THIS HOUSE AND YOU DID ANYWAY.. IF YOU WANT TO GO LIVE WITH YOUR DAD WHO IS NEVER THERE, THEN GO AHEAD. BECAUSE I AM TIRED OF HEARING IT FROM HIM.. APPARENTLY YOU LOVE HIM MORE, YOU DONT TELL ME ANYTHING ABOUT HIM. SO SEE OF HE CAN TAKE YOU TO VOLLEYBALL FOR NOW ON.. CALL ME WHEN YOU GET HOME..



nice notee to come home too..i hatee it .. can someone help me with itt.. my mom said when she gets home we will talk about it, but it doesnt matter if we talk about, its always going to be the same. its always been the samee. im never happen when i get homee. i just lock myself in my room and not talk to anyonee. i just need help, with something that can calm me down and be more relaxed with everything... i have no one to talk to about any of this..

Answers

luwlu_tinydancer_x

luwlu_tinydancer_x says:

Posted on 29 Sep 2009

dw things will work out =]

you tell your dad because you trust him and you're worried about your mother,i think

are your brothers younger? cause usually the bigger ones are the ones who know the family issues and stuff..

your mom wants to keep things private between her and your step dad and i think for her it will be uncomfortable to know that her ex husband knows her problems and stuff

i had the same problem about my dad telling me that i love mom the most and i tried to talk to him and i told him and i think you should tell your mother how you feel like 'mum when i see you and my step dad i hate it and i want somebody i know that i can trust and that is an adult that loves me to share my feelings with and i cant tell you about the thing that worry me if they are about you...your mom wants to talk to see whats best for you and to see who do you want to stay with what she wrote she seemed to let you make a free decision but she know that you will be better if you stay with her i know how you feel...alone...no one understand you and there is nothing you can do about it =/

i hope you will make a good decision and when you are alone you get to think deeply and try some relaxing music and crying makes you feel better =]

gl xxx

kirstiefrog

kirstiefrog says:

Posted on 29 Sep 2009

hey, it sounds like your going through a bad patch at the moment, but stay positive, things can get better. Firstly, i don't see that there is any reason why you can't tell your dad what's happening at home, maybe your mum doesn't want him to know that there are problems between her and your stepdad, but you should be able to tell him what you want. If you keep all of that baggage on your shoulders it's not healthy. Do your brothers get the same treatment as you? I think that maybe this time you should try and sit down and have a conversation with your mum, you say you generally lock yourself in a room and don't listen. Maybe try using something, anything like a cup and your only allowed to talk with the cup. (silly but it works), try anything from trying not to get the conversation heated. If she is unwilling to listen to how you feel and expects you to only consider her feelings then that isn't fair, try telling her that. If she still refuses to listen then maybe you need to get someone else in involved, i know it's not the easiest thing to do, and it may not seem right, but a problem shared is a problem halfed right? It might help to take some of the weight off your shoulders. Talk to your dad, if your relationship is really that bad with your mother that you don't think you can live with her, i don't know whether you could live with him? plus, talk to your dad, ask him not to telll your mum, or only tell her what he needs to, not like things like you love him more, whether you do or you don't as it's making you unhappy. I can't really say much more as i don't really know how you feel. sorry.



as for the relaxation, i have a brother who's got special needs and has is very frustrated and always has a temper. he finds that going out for a run, or something physical helps to reduce stress. also invest in a stress ball or something squishy and squeeze it to get rid of anger. Also try meditation or hypnosis tapes, they're really good, i use them a lot to become less tired or stressed. Hope it helps and it isn't too long :) hope things get better soon...

kirstiefrog

kirstiefrog says:

Posted on 29 Sep 2009

hey, it sounds like your going through a bad patch at the moment, but stay positive, things can get better. Firstly, i don't see that there is any reason why you can't tell your dad what's happening at home, maybe your mum doesn't want him to know that there are problems between her and your stepdad, but you should be able to tell him what you want. If you keep all of that baggage on your shoulders it's not healthy. Do your brothers get the same treatment as you? I think that maybe this time you should try and sit down and have a conversation with your mum, you say you generally lock yourself in a room and don't listen. Maybe try using something, anything like a cup and your only allowed to talk with the cup. (silly but it works), try anything from trying not to get the conversation heated. If she is unwilling to listen to how you feel and expects you to only consider her feelings then that isn't fair, try telling her that. If she still refuses to listen then maybe you need to get someone else in involved, i know it's not the easiest thing to do, and it may not seem right, but a problem shared is a problem halfed right? It might help to take some of the weight off your shoulders. Talk to your dad, if your relationship is really that bad with your mother that you don't think you can live with her, i don't know whether you could live with him? plus, talk to your dad, ask him not to telll your mum, or only tell her what he needs to, not like things like you love him more, whether you do or you don't as it's making you unhappy. I can't really say much more as i don't really know how you feel. sorry.



as for the relaxation, i have a brother who's got special needs and has is very frustrated and always has a temper. he finds that going out for a run, or something physical helps to reduce stress. also invest in a stress ball or something squishy and squeeze it to get rid of anger. Also try meditation or hypnosis tapes, they're really good, i use them a lot to become less tired or stressed. Hope it helps and it isn't too long :) hope things get better soon...

unefille

unefille says:

Posted on 29 Sep 2009

It shouldn't be your job to ask your Dad for child support. That is the parent's job to work out. Tell you're mom that you only tell your Dad that your mom and step Dad are fighting and you don't go into specifics.



Do you want to live with your Dad? If you do or aren't really sure you should spend some time thinking about it. Sleep on it. Tell her that you don't tell her anything about your Dad because there is nothing to tell. Also, next time you tell your Dad something about your mom ask him to not talk to her about it because you aren't suppose to tell your Dad about your mom's business.



I hope things work out.

barbipixi

barbipixi says:

Posted on 30 Sep 2009

she's being passive agressive she's being manitulipive



sorry but your mom doens't want you to live with your dad. she probly does love you but it probly has to do with the child support too and she probly don't like him anymore either.



it's not your fault your a kid. there are issues at your home and it bothers you and you're suppost to be able to talk to your parents about things that are disturbing your life



if she doesn't want you telling your dad about the bad thigns that are going on then it's HER job to try and keep it from you not plaster her business all in your face



does your dad have the ability to care for you or is he really working alot?



i would almost say visit the idea of being with your dad

bethanyjl

bethanyjl says:

Posted on 30 Sep 2009

Oh girl im sorry! thats totally lame of your mom! maybe your should go to your dads?

hanlou

hanlou says:

Posted on 30 Sep 2009

You have to understand this is very hard for your mum and that basically she is jelous she shouldnt be taking this out on you. This is just an at the time letter she will proably cool down later. She obviously feels like you want to leave her. And she is trying to cover her feelings. Try talking to her and telling her you love here very much, you just feel like you are stuck in the middle of evertything. And you dont want to take sides.

jessd

jessd says:

Posted on 29 Sep 2009

im the youngest. and i just tell my dad that they are fighting.. i dont tell them over whatt. or get specfic

kirstiefrog

kirstiefrog says:

Posted on 29 Sep 2009

sorry i've posted two, i don't know why that happened

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