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cute_wonderful_blondie asked:

30 Aug 2010

How can I prove to my friend I'm worthy of her trust??

Well actually she's my online friend and I sent her a video of me saying hi and stuff haha and she did the same but then she said she can't trust people online and we were chatting on skype with a cam and everything so she knows I'm real but she still won't tell me where she's from.. Ok I don't need to know her address and everything but a city would be nice cause i told her everything.. and after all I don't need that personal stuff at least her name... she only told me how her friends call her but she says it's nothing alike her name... I hate that because I would understand she has a privacy thing if she didn't wanna show her face on skype and everything but she did and she was really opened but then she just closed.. She doesn't tell me anything anymore.. I just wanna gain her trust back again cause it's really weird I was her helper and listener but it all shut down few weeks ago... Help me?! *__*

Answers

mistress1209

mistress1209 says:

Posted on 30 Aug 2010

i presume that you guys have somehow developed a level of closeness (before she started acting weird). Some people are just like that.. er, paranoid..lols. okay, send her an email or leave an off line message. start by casually saying hi, what's she up to--the usual pleasantries--then proceed to telling her how you feel. let her know that you're not demanding private details about her but as a friend, you'd like to get to know her better. If she still gives you the cold shoulder, don't push it. Someone who truly wants to be your friend, (on line or in reality) should at least be comfortable not using an alias.

shadyca

shadyca says:

Posted on 31 Aug 2010

it's not about that she doens't want to be your friend, I can somewhat relate to her, cause I'm like that in real life, I don't trust people.

the answer is to seek why.

personally, I'm the way I am cause I had a best friend for years in the past and then some things got on to the surface and it was all revealed-every single word that came out her mouth was a lie. and thanks to her I can't have a normal friendship cause I'm afraid that everyone will hurt me the same way cause, in the end, ''everybody lies''.

what could be the case with your situation?

this kind of overly protective behaviour towards self is visible when a person was deeply hurt in the past, maybe even more than she would admit but she probably put her ground down and got hurt. there is nothing much you could do here, people like this are usually very stubborn (I'm saying usually, cause there ARE some exceptions). you have to know that you won't really be able to persuade her to trust you, she probably got scared by the way things were going between you and her and she decided to take a time out. my suggestion is to let her take her time. don't push her, she might feel trapped, just let your friendship develop, talk to her, be her friend, be close to her, gain her trust. and so one day when she decides to tell you more personal stuff, it will be a great deal for her so be sure to realise that.

and this isn't anything personal-that she isn't telling you her real name. it's just her building a wall around her and your goal is to gain her trust enough for her to let you inside. I wish you all luck with this, though it takes patience with this. I know with my friends-I have many aquiantances but just few friends, it isn't really healthy but we're just being (overly) cautious.

cute_wonderful_blondie

cute_wonderful_blondie says:

Posted on 30 Aug 2010

well I guess so.. I'll just tell her... Maybe she doesn't want to tell me anything because she doesn't want to be my friend so she tries to be nice.. I really wanna see what's the problem.. thanx... (:

cute_wonderful_blondie

cute_wonderful_blondie says:

Posted on 31 Aug 2010

thank you.. I never thought about that.. (:

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