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calla lillie

Large

Capricorn

Status

General
Female

  • 7525 Rank

  • 1 Points

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calla_lillie asked:

21 Jan 2012

Asking for Advice

My boyfriend and I haven't been together very long but he already wants "move faster" than I am ready for. He keeps insisting (sp?) that we do sexual things, but I make it very clear that I don't want to, but everytime I turn him down he gets upset and I feel terrible about it and the thing is he is leaving in a few months for training and I won't see him for awhile. I don't know what to do, am I doing the right thing and how should I handle this? And is there any alternatives to this?

Answers

jackie_walsh

jackie_walsh says:

Posted on 21 Jan 2012

Well, I don't know how old you are, but he should accept "No" for an answer! Only you know if you're doing the right thing in refusing him. But if you don't feel comfortable doing it, don't. And if you change your mind, please remember to protect yourself and him from disease or unwanted pregnancy.

moosamanthamoo

moosamanthamoo says:

Posted on 21 Jan 2012

Say no. Even if it means breaking up. If your not ready, he should understand. and if he does not, he is not the guys for you.

dragana94

dragana94 says:

Posted on 21 Jan 2012

You're doing the right thing.You shouldn't feel bad about it,you can't do anything you wont to.If you think you're not ready for it,that's it, end of the discussion! If he really likes you,he'll understands you,don't fall if he says" if you love me,you will do that" and stuff like that,that only mean he doesn't like you truly,he wants one thing (sex).If he ask you that you say to him"If you love me,you'll understand".And if he keep not understanding you,I say brake up,u deserve better.

vampkisses

vampkisses says:

Posted on 21 Jan 2012

your doing the right thing... If you don't want to then why should you? especially because sex creates a emotional bond(couldnt find the right words) for the girls, never really the guys, and if youhave sex and you arnt sure and then you guys break up or something happens, you will be heart broken... goodluck on whatever you choose!

renderella

renderella says:

Posted on 21 Jan 2012

O my. The classical boy wants sex and doesn't know how to deal with a "no" answer.
If you haven't been together for very long and you don't want to do that stuff then don't. I'm sorry to say this, but I think you should end your relationship now. I know you probably don't want to do that, but if he is going away for training (I'm guessing military) anything can happen. Tell him you think you guys should end it since he wants that kind of stuff and you don't. It's much easier to break up with him now then to have that connection with him after sex. As women, some men do too, we have a bond that is created afterwards and we want to be close to that person more so afterwards. If he is leaving soon and you lose your virginity to him, you will go into a state of depression. You might even start craving more sex. I don't want to tell you how to live your life, these are all just my opinion. Goodluck!

veronicanelson

veronicanelson says:

Posted on 22 Jan 2012

i agree with all of the answers bellow. you shouldn't let him get to you. he has no right to demand something you're not ready for. but it's better this way, then him secretly talking you into doing it. that way, you'd just turn around and say: how the hell did this happen?!
obviously, a lot of us support you to be strong on your feet saying: no.
it's a good thing that you admit you're not ready, and if he loves you, he'll learn to accept that. if he keeps pressuring you, sorry to say this but, he's only interest in relationships is, well, getting in your panties.
think well and good luck
xo rony

mimi_anetionete

mimi_anetionete says:

Posted on 26 Jan 2012

if you don't want too, you don't have too. plain and simple. if he gets mad that you don't want to, maybe you should move on. he sounds like a jerk

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