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24 Jun 1994
0 Blog Posts
Questions & Answers
about 1 year
Last time i was on here i was in the midst of probably the worst sadness i have ever expirienced. i remember feeling so alone, i wasnt close with my friends anymore, and extremely betrayed. I remember wanting to know when the pain would finally go away, and when i would lose the feelings that felt so strong at the time. Well, heres a followup:
The first 2 weeks were the hardest of my life. Any thought of him that entered my mind i got rid of because it was too painful, after that, it seemed like every week, about 5% of my feeling would wear off for him and i didnt even realize. i became closer to my friends and gained a social life i had basically lost when i was with him. After about 4 months after we had broken up, there were no feelings left. Its now been about 8 months since we brokeup and i am feeling fine. i havent had a new boyfriend since, but it hasnt been as bad as i though it would be. i now realize that he wasnt right for me, and i am stronger than i ever was.
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almost 2 years
half of me was waiting for his call for him to apologize and say he wanted me back, but the other half thought that he would be out all night getting the girls and i should just understand and get over him. the night after, (2 days ago) i went to a friends party and then to a club. everyone at the club was old because it was a saturday night and there was no cute guys. i missed him more than ever and spoke to me friend who told me that i should give him a call in the morning to talk. i woke up in the morning and had to goto work. i had blocked him on facebook the night we brokeup because i told him that if we ever broke up, that id have to cut him out of my life to make myself heal. anyway, i decided to unblock him that afternoon (yesterday) and noticed that he was already "in a relationship" with the girl who i had suspisions about. he left me for her. ive never felt more hurt, i havent eaten either. i need help, guidance from someone who has been through it and is now happy, anyone?
is what he said to me. i asked him if he still loved me, he said he does and always will, and that he doesnt want to breakup because he will probably regret it in a week or so. we agreed to meet up the next day after school to discuss whether to stay together, (also the fact that i owed him money and clothes that were at mine). all of this was a shock to me because we were so happy, we never fought and always had fun together.
i texted him the next day half way through school saying "if your mind is made up, then maybe we shouldnt meet up and talk, i dont want to bother talking if your mind is made up, and i will just be emotional." he replied with a simple "thats a good idea, but can i still come and meet up with you to get my money and clothes back?" i said yes. we later met up at the mall and i gave him his stuff, with a friendly smile and said goodbye. as i was walking off i felt the tears running down my face. i continued crying all that night - (3)
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