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1 Blog Posts
Questions & Answers
I fell in love with her bangs in the movie. I was wonderin if they would look good on my face and if i could pull them off?? They would be a tiny bit longer then the picture . My hair is kinda layered and about medium length . 4 or 5 inch below my collar bone. heres me now :/ sorry i look kinda bad i already took off all my makeup
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about 1 year
So here is like.. the back story. Ben and I went out in 2010 for 4 months, and we broke up ( we arent technically allowed to date he is right now 17 , im turning 14 in 2 months) but I saw him again in April. I used to talk about him with my best friend a lot. Back the first time we dated, he is best friends with my best friends older brother, So i would see him at their lake house. Iv slept with him( not sex just in his arms) since the night before we started going out. August 16. After we broke up I was torn. I talked about him all the time i feel like I really love him as I always have. Once I started seeing him again back in April, he started to ... Idk show signs he still loved me. Held my hand when i was upset and stayed near me. On October 26 we started dating again. Ever since I havent been able to let him go. Whenever Im with him, my heart feels right. Im not scared. Im just calm. Ben makes me feel beautiful and is the only one who can get me to eat. We began haging out ( behind my parents back) from december to january when we were caught. When I do see him which is usually every school day, or now 2 or 3 times a week before marching band hell hold me and it feels like cloud 9 for me. Iv never felt so much love, I feel complete with him. Every night (no matter where he is ) he calls me to make sure I get to sleep, because I have really bad nightmares all the time and if he stays and talks to me while i sleep I dont have nightmares. He gave me his jacket so I could smell him if I needed to calm down. Hes everything to me and I never want to loose him.
Now to this Sunday:
We found a way for me , dede , and Ben to meet at the movie theater. ( i call this our first official date.) The whole movie I sat snuggled in his arms. He kissed my head, my cheek :) everything. ( we saw a wedding movie with babies and everything that I love and he knows that) He traced my lips with his finger, kept telling me how beautiful I was and how much he loves me with all his
Today I had in all honesty.
3 spoons of potato soup ( a regular spoon you eat with)
a small peice of steak ( maybe 1inch by 1/3 centimeter?)
a spoon of cookie dough
a glass of coke zero
I ran 3 miles today
I feel like it was so so much food :( Is there any way i can loose weight by tomorrow?
I have to write a personal narrative for my 8th grade english class. Mines made up and not done but what do yal think of it so far?? Its about me and my friend gettin peer pressured into going to a party. Opinons? suggestions?
I've had an eating disorder for 2 years.. like really bad.. my lowest was..84lbs. Ben has been making me eat a little more so im at around 90 and im 5'4". I cry when i look in the mirror its so bad. i have to fog my bathroom before ill get in the shower or anything and it kills me. My sister knows all of this. knows i starve myself knows i use dieting pills knows i throw up anything i eat. but she keeps constatly calling me fat.. and it just makes me cry for hours. I dont know what to do she makes me wanna die.. :( and its 2 or 3 times a day sometimes..i already wear sweatshirts around to cover my stomach up.. :( idk what to do anymore..
I wonder how many of you have heard of this. People here i know are not just from the US and around the world. This was just recently brought to the attention of my town and Georgia and has made a BIG. bigger. then big impact on all of us. Adding on that one of the kids in my town just died from drowing and other causes, we are searching for hope and look at this. Kony 2012 is to bring attention to Joseph Kony. To make him a "celebrity." In short just to tell you. Kony has abducted over 30000 children in the last 20 years in Africa , making the girls sex slaves and the boys forced into an army to kill other helpless people. Just before these kids are abducted they are forced to kill their own parents and/or siblings. Some of these kids are as young as 6 or 7. The campaign group is called Invisble Children. I really wish you guys would look into this. If you look up on google "invisible children" or "Kony 2012" You can learn more about it and how to help. Please!!
It really really hurts and my stomach just extends further every day . Iv been eating fiber foods and milk and fruits for a week. cuz 5 days ago the only way i could go was with the help of a laxative. I also run track 3-4.5 miles every day. so that should be helping but its so unconfertable to run like this :( i cant take any more laxatives cuz i used to have a laxative addition and if i take them everyday again it would come bak ( its not cuz of that. That was 6ish months ago) :(
He wants to cut his hair shorter?? lol and He wants me to think of something :) and idk lol :) So does anyone have any ideas ??? :) sorry the pictures areent that good i choose just the newest ones on my phone lol
As some of you know Im an aspiring model :) and I had like..40 min to take pictures yesterday cuz it was REALLY warm here. So i took the oppertunity to take pictures :) tell me what you think. Also, i had a weight test that day. So i look a little bigger then normal for me. cuz i had a LOT of water inside me :/ so .. ya thats y lol. , ,
Ok so first this is my best friend from 3rd grade (im in 8th now) and hes like my best friend. I went to his house today and everyone in the state of Georgia knows i struggle with anorexia. It bothers the HELL outta me if you touch my stomach at all. even poke it or pinch me or do that thing where you like try to freak the people out?. cuz it feels like they are touching my fat.. so anyway. He was literaly. ALL. OVER. ME. he wouldnt stop touching me. First we were playin game cube and i needed to win so he grabbed me to distract me and kept poking my ribs. It relly hurts when people do that to me and i was like screamin at him to stop and he wouldnt. I finally got him to stop. Then he grabbed my fat multiple. times. and i was about to cry cuz it was bothering me. then he chocked me. saying he was joking.. but it really hurt. he kept piking me up and throwing me over his shoulder and just carrying me like im a baby. (im 5'3" hes 6') so im tiny compared. He wouldnt let me walk. Then he kept grabbing my hand and pulling it . ( Im still with Ben happily and constantly txting him the whole time and he knows it) he wouldnt let go of my hand. He kept trying to flip me. Then he pushed my legs into me so i was a ball and kept teling me to kick. then when i couldnt move him he sayed i could be easily raped.. he kept bothering me (this was 2 hours) and it really hurt but i didnt want him to hate me or be mad at me so i didnt sayanything... wat do i do.. i have bruises covereing my body he was so rough with me..
over 1 year
So, yall now know what ben looks like if you read my last question cuz that was actually him ;) so he has long shaggy sand blond hair. His sister cut a chunk out of it . He felt terrible about himself and i felt so bad for him and i love him so i decided to make him feel better. So i cut a chunk of mine. Needles to say it did make him feel better lol but now i have a huge chunk missing from my choppy red hair. How can i make it less noticeable????
This is my friend. Be complete honest do you think hes cute/hansom or anything or not???and if you do why?? wat do you like!?!? :) thank you! Sorry bout these some are a few months old. lol dont ask why its just random cuz im curious wat others think He aint big. Hes average. and in the third one his hair is a little akward lol he just got it cut and hes laying down so it looks weird :)
I have a modeling website and I also promote myself on facebook and myspace. As most of you know its my passion and love to model and i have just not had the luck of getting an agency intrested who wasnt fake or a scam (hop modeling and talent). I just got emailed from an angency that wants to meet with me wensday ! :) im so exited. but i dont know how to prepare! they always say do poses in front of the mirror and stuff but what poses! that means nuthing lol . if any of you have any personal expeirence that would really help! iv only been to one open call but this is suppose to be the second step considering they like my look. does anyone know what kind of questions they may ask me or if you do could you message me and ill respond on what i would answer and you tell me if its good!?!? :) thank you so much!!! poses and questions!! gosh wish me good luck!
I weigh 77 lbs and I'm 5'4" I don't really eat much an I need toget ready for track so I ran at tr gym for 2 hours burnin 300 calories. I drank a bottle of water while I wa there. When I got home I hada lick of peanut butter and took a shower then went to bed. This mornin I was 78.8 lbs! and it freaks me out ciz I can't gain. I hate it. :.( so is it possible it could jus b muscle. Ps I'm sorry I haven't been responding to y'all I will tonight when I get my computer bak but I'm on my iPod for now ans it won't let me respond. its not a weight requirment for track. its my mind. ill feel so terrible if i gain weight.
If you read my last question you kno my school made me dye my hair or they said they would cut it off and keep me in iss .. ya. They called my mom again. and said its not good enough. this is like.. the before and after. I loved it before :/ and im not doing anything more to make it more brown. does it still look red??
My parents took Ben away and now I can no longer see him :( that's te worse I guess but monday I died my hair bright red. I love to stand out and it makes me feel so confident and today ( wens day) I got put in iss. She sat me in front of the whole grade (600 people) and talked with me. Then took me away. Made me sit in the office for an hour before goin to in school suspension . I was left there for te rest of the day. She said if I didn't due my hair bak to normal in 4 days they would cut it. My teachers were so pissed cuz I'm such a good student and she treated me like trash. Plus my parents are out of the contru so my sick grandmother who can't drive is taking care of me.. My teacher .. Had to take me to get hair due and buy it cuz I had to work for a month to just afford the red and couldn't afford it... It's brown and my self eastern is in the toilet.. I felt so great and beautiful fr the first ine and now... This is the difference . This morning and now... Sory I like.. Whipped off all my make up :.( Crap it won't let me upload so it's in my pics if u wanna see :,(
should i dye my hair bak red or no??
Everyday at school girls and boys constantly call me fat. at least once a day. then make fun of me when i dont eat lunch or even if i do once a week they freak out and call me fat. and they arent kidding. I dont understand why tho. and i belive them. Im 5'4'' and 90 lbs. :/ am i fat??? im loosing weight but its just getting worse and i keep thinking im getting bigger even tho the numbers go down. :( sorry this is the only picture i have of me right now.
sorry bout my bathroom haha.
the skirt is red with cheetah print bows all over it but its like scrunched? so you can only see that they are bows when im sitting down. With a black belt and a tank that matches the same color as the brown on the skirt. :)
If yall remember my boyfriend i talked about. the one who is 3 years older and we are now forbidden to see eachother. Yesterday he was hospitalized for the fear he has intestinal cancer. They had to run tests that dont come in till Sunday. They let him use his phone and he video chats me from the hospital but iv never cryed so much. I feel like im in a sudden nightmare! I wanna be his rock cuz i know he needs it but i just kept bursting out crying when i was talking to him becuase im scared. Im going to see him tom and im scared ill burst into tears again. im so depressed and its only been a day , i cant eat (i already have anorexia hes been trying to help me overcome) or enjoy anything. Im atheist but i still wonder why if theres a god hed do this to me. It feels terrible.. and i cant loose him. I cant. I dont know what to do. How do i help him??? and help me???
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