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Julianne Stefanie




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Published on: 05 Apr 2017 by weddingideas

Writing Your Own Wedding Vows: How to Write Creative, Personalized Marriage Promises that Matter

For some couples, the
traditional marriage vows don't seem
all that meaningful. They prefer to worry about other stuff like making sure
their engraved
are delivered right in time for the wedding. While many couples don't think
twice about using the traditional set of wedding promises in their ceremony,
others feel they have a generic "fill-in-the-blanks" quality (as in
"I, ______, take thee, _______, to be your lawfully wedded
wife...."). To some couples, wedding vows feel more meaningful if they are
personalized and unique.

If you're looking for a
less traditional way to pledge your love, here are some ideas about what to
include in your personalized wedding vows.

Figure out what you want to promise to each other.
As you write your vows, think of the promises that are important for you and
your partner. You will probably want to include some of the traditional
concepts, but also take the time to think of values that are important to you
that aren't included in the typical vows.

Here are some of the
traditional promises that couples make to one another:





Loyalty ("
sickness and in health...)

Lifetime commitment
("...'til death do us    

Obedience (a bit
controversial in this era, to say the    

However, these are not
the only things that are important in a marriage. Here are some less
traditional promises to make to one another:




Mutual respect



Kindness to one another



Shared workload


Valuing each other's

Being a good parent

Challenging each other
to be the best people you can be

Acceptance of each
other's differing opinions

Acceptance of each
other's imperfections

Willingness to change
diapers, weed the garden, put the    
seat down, etc.

What specific things do you want to promise to give your partner?
What are your strengths as a person that you want to share with your spouse?
What special things does your spouse need from you? When writing your vows,
discuss with your partner what you think spouses should give to one another, and keep this in mind as your write
your vows.

Why qualities of yours do you want to promise to avoid?
Are you impatient? Unforgiving? Picky? Indulgent? Promise to be the best person
you can be and to try to keep your imperfections in check.

Incorporate special circumstances.
If a couple faces difficult or special challengess that will impact the
marriage, find a way to include these in the vows. If the couple has children,
either together or from a previous relationship, incorporate the kids into your
vows. Other special circumstances and challenges you might address include:

A serious illness

Interfaith marriage

A past history of

Religious considerations. How do you want
religion to fit into your life, and how do you want this to fit into your
marriage vows? To many, marital vows are a promise to God as much as they are a
promise to each other, so make this clear as you write your vows. Couples might
also promise to help each other in heir relationship with God.

Use your imagination!
Don't worry about making your vows sound like everybody else's. This is your
unique relationship and your personalized promises to one another. Take the
time to write your vows together and your wedding will be all the more


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