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Published on: 12 Sep 2009 by unefille
A Family Tragedy
Have you ever had a close family member or friend die? Well, if you haven't it can be a really hard thing to handle. A little over 7 years ago my aunt and close friend committed suicide. When this happened it was really hard for my family to accept it. I thought I would never get through it, but over time I learned to deal with it more and more.
I guess the best place to start would be a couple days prior to the event. That week was like any other week. Then around June 7th my Aunt Kathy was reported missing. So, of course, as anyone would be, I was worried. I was worried that something bad might have happened to her, Have you ever had that gut feeling that something horrible was about to take place. If so, that was the exact feeling I had about Kathy.
Those two days went by so slow I thought I would never know what had happened to Kathy or why she was missing. Well, the two days went by slowly but surely and my sister, Christina was babysitting me that day. It was June ninth. My sister was babysitting three other children named Michael, Chyane, and Lindsey. She was watching my mom's friend's children. Tina had just put the youngest child, Lindsey down for a nap. Michael , me, and Chyane were sitting on the floor, quietly, sitting on the floor, watching television. When mine and Tina's mom called with the news.
We had heard the phone ring and both hoped for good news. Tina picked up the phone and heard our mom's voice. I could hear it as well because someone had turned up the volume on the handset. At that moment there was a since of relief, yet nervousness as well. The first thing Tina had asked our mom was if anybody had found Kathy. Hesitantly mom said yes. Tina then asked our mom if Kathy was ok and our mom answered no. By this point I figured Kathy was in the hospital, but what my sister and I were about to find out was far worse from being in the hospital or having a few bumps and bruises. Christina asked if Kathy was hurt and our mom, hesitantly again, said, "No honey, Kathy is dead." When my sister and I heard those words I instantly felt my heart sink to the bottom of my stomach like the titanic sinking to the bottom of the ocean floor.
I was sad, scared, shocked, and angry all at the same time. Me nor my sister knew what to do at that time so we just cried. I didn't want to believe that the person who had helped my mom raise my siblings and I most of our lives was gone forever. The thought of never talking to her again was a huge reality check for me. I've gone seven years wondering why and how, but I wasn't told all of the details until about a year ago.
Finally after years of waiting, my mom sat me down to explain everything about that day. My mom said when she found out Kathy was missing my mom, Kathy's daughter, Sarah, started to look for Kathy everywhere that they could think that she would be. Together, they searched her house, her parents' house, and even all the places she used to hang out at a lot. Then my mom an Sarah recalled that on the night Kathy was reported missing , she was at her friend, Coach's house. While they were there they searched that house up and down, turning everything inside out but unfortunatley they found nothing. Then, just as they were about to leave they decided to check the loft in Coach's garage. Sarah had a bad feeling about going up there so my mom went up alone. My mom climbed a seven foot ladder slowly, preparing herself for what she might see. When my mom reached the top, she looked, there she was. My Aunt Kathy was lying there, motionless, curled up in a ball with her hair covering her face. Mom slowly and unwillingly went to check Kathy's pulse, and tragically, Kathy was dead. At that moment my mom burst out into tears. Then, suddenly she fell from the ladder and broke her leg. She struggled through the pain to tell Sarah about her beloved mom. They then called the police and an ambulance.
My mom and Sarah waited for then police in the driveway. When the police arrived they brought Kathy down from the loft. Kathy's skin was pale and cold. The police, then, of course, searched the loft for information on how Kathy died. While they were searching they found Kathy's journal, and in it a note from her wrote to whomever found her. I've never been able to actually reead the note, but I was told some of what it had said. The note, from what I was told, she said she was going t take pills and alcoholic drinks to kill herself. The note Kathy left never said why she did this, it just said she was going to do it.
Over the next few weeks, everyone that was close to Kathy or even knew her at all, was upset. It was hard because there were just so many issues to work through. For example, the police were trying to decide whether or not Kathy really killed herself or if she died some other way, and there were funeral arrangements as well. People, including myself feel as if there was some way we could have helped her. That they could've stopped her from doing what she did. I, myself, was angry that she was gone, and because I didn't understand why, and because I wanted to have all the answers.
After a while it became easier to talk about what had happened and how I felt about it. I learned that writing and talking about what had happened really helped me deal with it more and more. I still miss my Aunt Kathy and still have multiple questions that may never be answered but it taught me a very good lesson. It taught me that suicide and depression are not something to be taken lightly and that its a very serious issue. So the next time you know someone is depressed, or even think they might be depressed don't brush it off like it's no big deal. Ask questions and don't act like nothing's wrong because depression and suicide are a very big deal.