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Published on: 22 Jan 2012 by renderella
So it has only been about 3 months since my 5 year relationship has ended. I know that most of the people who read this will be young an have maybe only been in a 6 month, one month, or even 3 week relationship. I am hear to tell you that I know it hurts and that is normal. I remember in high school my longest relationship was six months. In middle school it was about 3 months. I had some relationships that only lasted 2 weeks-1 month and you know what?! They all hurt about the same.
- Ending a relationship with someone you cared about is never an easy task. If you aren't the one who ended it, it is even more difficult to handle. No matter what it is a painful process. How do you ge over that? Time. It's true what they say, "Time heals all". Now how much time you need is a different answer. Everyone varies and it depends on everything that happened in that relationship.
- Omgosh, I lost him and we had sex!: It's okay if this is you. There is a bond that is built when two engage in coitus. It is a very intense feeling of connection and women especially feel this bond and we don't want to ever let that person go. This is one of the reasons why I am so against the younger ladies engaging in it. They tend to mistake the bonding feeling with love and a lot of times that is not what they guy is feeling. Ladies and gentlemen, if you don't feel like having sex with your partner, then don't do it! It is better to leave that person than to regret it later.
- It's only been a week and I think I like someone else: I know a lot of people who have what is called "rebound" syndrome. They feel that it is easier to go out with someone else as fast as possible to get over the other person, but what you don't understand is that you are extremely vulnerable after a break up. You may be willing to do things you normally wouldn't do just to erase that person of your mind. You don't want to end up putting yourself into a bad situation and then having no way of getting out of it. Your heart and mind need time to pick up the pieces and put your puzzled heart back together. Don't rush things or you'll just end up even more hurt and feeling lonelier.
-I feel sick and I don't know why: This is called "love sickness". Normally after a big break up or even an extremely embarrassing one you will feel this. Sometimes even after just a regular, calm, agreeable break up you will feel this. It's like your heart is stuck in your stomach and you need to get it to go back to where it belongs. It is very challenging to get over this feeling. After 3 months I still get it. The first month was horrible for me. I lost 10 lbs because I could barely eat and I felt sick all the time. Now I still can barely eat, I cry a lot, I hate being alone, and I feel the need to talk to him all the time and I crave seeing him. Does he let me hear his voice? No. Does he answer his text? Hardly and normally in a rude manner. I would suggest getting help if after 2 months you can't function properly. I was going through so much. I felt depressed and even cut myself. I decided it was best to go to a FREE therapist at my school. I know that you can go to school counselors and talk to them about anything and they are normally very helpful and they are supposed to keep everything private.
-Now The best plan of action is to surround yourself with friends and family. This was actually really difficult for me to do and I couldn't do it until after the first month. I still feel like i will just burst into tears. I have been spending a lot of time with single people so that I don't have to see others kissing, hugging, and holding hands. I can feel normal since we are all the same. Yes, it is still hard to be around them because sometimes they talk about people they like, wish they could be with, or ex's. No matter what it will be hard, but this is the least painful way.
I hope that this has helped someone because breakups are never fun or easy and if I can help make it a little easier that makes me a little happier.
Work hard to protect your hearts and don't just hand it to anyone.
<3 your Becomegorgeous sister,