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Published on: 18 Feb 2012 by princess13aby13itch
Personally, I don't believe in love. What reason do I have TO believe in it ? Every man (or human of the male species who CLAIMS to be a man) that my mom's been with was completely psycho, lazy, arrogant, etc. Some of her ex's try to kill us. Some appeared to die off the face of the earth after becoming extremely close to the guy's family. Some used my mom and when they broke up, he even admitted to usin' her. There's worse, but I think jus' that's sufficient enough for now.
I jus' broke up with Ty the Friday before Valentine's Day. Why ? He lied to me. Not 'bout anything majorly bad, but it's constant and,well, jus' listen and think for yourself:
He always says that he has (or had, now) this best friend named Alann (Unique spellin'). But here's the thing. He's always with this 11 year old Jimmy, Jimmy's older sister (Ash), me, or at home watchin' his baby sister Makayla. None of us know who Alann is, what he looks like, or anything. We know NOTHING. He told us the other night that Alann died. He was cryin' (he can cry on demand), but a half hour later, was fine. Wtf ? When Brandon died, I cried for weeks.
Here's another thing: There were NO voices on the other line. NO beep signaling that the call end. NO ringtone, he played a song on his phone, hopin' that I'd think it was his ringtone. NO screen sayin' the call ended.
Damn, this is jus' the beginning.
BUT. There's hope, I think.. Cj, my ex, my best friend, my love. I saw him for the first time in over a year last night. He's the only one who- I don' t even know what I want I want to say now. I have my guard up all the time. No matter who you are. But with him, I can't help but to admit that there's something 'bout him that I can't let go of.
Normally, I'd have been makin' out all night. With him, we layed together, breathed together, took in the night together. We talked a little, spoke mostly through our feelings and minds. It's hard to explain.. He wants me to go to Paris, France with him when he goes to Le Cordon Bleu. I said yes. In all seriousness 'nd excitement. With anyone else, it would be joking. He literally takes my breath away...
Wondering why we're not together ? It's complicated.. Don't want to talk 'bout it.. Maybe another time.. Anyway....... Here's a Pic of us<3