Are you sure?

Comfirm Cancel


Or Login using BecomeGorgeous


Please fill the form below and follow the further instructions.

By registering, you are agreeing to the terms and conditions.
We will not sell, rent or give your email to anyone so don't worry about spam.

Password Recovery

You are about to receive a email from us please make sure to check your spam or junk folder and add our email to your contact list.

Thank you!




I don't know what to blog about! :(

18 Aug 1993

  • 298 Rank

  • 149 Points

Published on: 05 Jun 2012 by leily


I don't know how people discern between love and unhealthy obsession, not in a stalker way...c'mon -_-". But I have a boyfriend who I've been dating for a year and a half now, I love him so much and we've been through a lot together; especially in the past 6 months as I have been away at university. Being in a new, smaller city has been extremely difficult for me and has made any mental health issues I had before I left grow exponentially, I 've been so lonely, and that has made me more depressed and sometimes suicidal. This has caused a wear-and-tear in our relationship and I completely understand why, dealing with someone who is suicidal isn't easy. But I do wonder sometimes if we're so broken that we're beyond repair, we fight all the time and everytime I cry and tell him how shitty I feel (which is often), I feel like he doesn't even really care...especially because in September when I first started, he was so different, I felt like he felt my pain, he was so caring, attentive, emotional, and now I feel like I just get a wall, and it kills me inside.


But it gets a little more complicated because, when we aren't 5 hours away from each other (as we are now), he is that same man that I knew in September, but once we're apart, an eclipse happens and its back to feeling like no one understands me and that he doesn't care about me and that I should just die. I am really excited because he got into the school I currently attend, but I worry that at this point, I'm so weak and dependent on him, he almost dumped me two weeks ago (because of my sporadic emotions) and I couldn't stop screaming and crying, it was like I just died inside. I don't like that, I didn't hear him crying or in pain, I don't want to be the only one who feels so empty inside at the thouht of a break up. Mind you, he was the one who decided we shouldn't, but still I felt like I would have suffered so much more emotionally, and it terrifies me that he has that much control over me.


I don't know what to think about us, I am so excited for him to come but honestly? Is that all I have to look forward to in my school year? That doesn't seem healthy and it scares me, I feel like an annoying best friend sometimes when I text or call him, like I'm so excited to see him, but I feel like he's not as happy as I...I don't even know if that matters if he isn't as excited as I...I'm just so confused...I love him to death but I feel like I have crossed a boundary of love and I can't turn back now...its too late.


Does anyone have any opinions? Haha, I know that was long....


Ah life. -_-"


Add a Comment

* Please Add A Comment


Thank you for submission! Your comment will be displayed after getting approval from our administrators.

Connect With
Or Pick a name