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Jessica Martin

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04 Jan 1993

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Hi I'm Jessica but ppl call me jess 4 short.

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Published on: 14 Jan 2011 by jazzy17

Spanking children

Alright I don't have kids but when I do I won't spank them . I cannot bear the thought of me putting my hand to a childs bare butt. But I was hit badly by my father when I was 5 or 4 for playing outside when I wasn't supposed to my father got angry and gave me red marks on my thighs or butt. I cannot forgive him for what he did to me  my parents are divorced so its been 10 years since my dad left me when I was eight . I'm 18 now and a fully grown woman . My mum spanked me but it was only ever 4 hits( my mum is very loving ) when I did something really bad. I am against it because it teaches kids violence and if you do so your kids may hide a secret grudge against you like I have . It  also makes them afraid of you  like your this big monster  who is out to get them . If you show the affection they may ba ck away  and think " mummy or daddy will hurt me ".


 


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Comments

becca_16

becca_16 says:

Posted on 16 Jan 2011

Mmm i agree with many of your points here. I think when i'm older and have my own kids i will make sure it stays discipline and not just punishment. I've seen kids sent to a naughty corner type thing, but then it wasn't explained to them. They weren't told what to do next time and then the kid got up after the set time and did it a half hour later. I want to make sure my kids learn from it. Good blog x

bit

bit says:

Posted on 17 Jan 2011

To each there own. Beatings I am against. Spankings I am neutral. If I have kids, I may say I won't spank them but having two sisters has taught me that, yes, I could and probably will lose my temper and spank the heck out of them...when they are really misbehaving. Of course it cannot be the only discipline in the house. There should be a variety such as time outs, reward systems for good behavior, communication, responsibility and just plain outdoor activity to tucker them out for the night. Spankings alone will not do the trick. And if you threaten a consequence, make sure you mean it or kids will get cocky and not expect a reprimand. Be consistent! The one thing, ironically, that I am against is shouting. That's worse than spanking. No yelling, raising of the voice, or shouting down at a kid. You don't want to make him deaf, they stop listening and they start to shout back at everything. A spanking is a far better alternative than to be cornered and shouted at by a 7ft adult monster in charge of your small fragile life. Bring on the belt any day!

tealrose

tealrose says:

Posted on 30 Jan 2011

Jazzy17 - I am with you all the way! I am 56 and a grandmother - who was spanked and was alienated, frightened. I lost my love, respect and trust for my parents, and they never regained it. I fail to understand why one can't hit another adult, or an animal but it's 'just a spanking, just discipline' if you hit a child ! No one learns in fear and lots of children only learn not to steal their sister's doll when their parents are around and will spank them - NOT the reason for right and wrong ! And discipline-it means to teach and you do that with love and gentleness. I never spanked my two children and they are now wonderful, gentle adults. And yes... they did test me... BOY did they test me ! But hitting them was never an option and definetely would have made matters worse. Parenthood it never easy ... and you will find one day that your child riles you so much you raise your hand and feel the anger in your heart - just don't let it land. When angry ... or later when 'cold'. Good luck to you !!!

mkh

mkh says:

Posted on 05 Feb 2011

I am 15 almost 16 and my mother spanked us.When we were under the age of 6 we got taps. Taps in my household were gentle but meaningful taps to the hand.At the age of 7 we began getting spankings. Spankings required more force to the thighs. After the age of 9 we began getting full flege whuppings! I believe that this was not done out of anger, if your spank or whup a child out of anger they will resent you. Before giving punishment take a moment to calm done. Once you have done that you can better handle the current situation.My mother always sat us down before our punishment to explain why it is we are getting what is coming to us and what we can do to prevent repeating the discouraged behavior in the future. This made us understand that our act is not permitted and strive to do better. Time outs never fazed me if you put me in time out I would smirk the entire time or pretend that I learned my lesson as I'm sure your kids may do in the future. If you only put them in time out they will just do whatever they did to get in that situation again and again. You will find yourself saying " Honey I asked you not to do that" "Do not do that again! Do you need to go back to timeout?" Lol I laugh everytime I hear those mothers in the store getting frustrated. Listen your children may be mad at you for a moment but when they grow up they will truly respect you for caring enough to teach them right and wrong. I admire my mother because she understood that children do tend to loose their way and need help to get back on track. But my dad did it out of spite and I cannot respect his reasoning. When you spank your child for the right reason you will love the end result.You will be able to take your children places without having to constantly yell. Peace at last!

tealrose

tealrose says:

Posted on 12 Feb 2011

No I am afraid not mkH ... There is never a 'right reason' to hit a child. I do not respect my parents for spanking/ hitting me. I am completely angry and resentful of losing my childhood. And as for the children in supermarkets 'playing up', 99% of all the children I have ever seen doing so - were either tiny and not able to communicate their needs well, or tired, sick, or hungry - some times it was obvious too that the parents couldn't have given a damn about them, and had been dragging them around shops for hours. I can remember just how my legs hurt when small walking around shops etc - and adults just don't seem to get that. You have NO way of knowing WHY a certain child in a shop is upset or in a tantrum. You have NO way of knowing if the child is ever spanked or not either. It's all guesswork. When you spank a child, it doesn't learn to ... NOT do a thing because it is .. dangerous or just 'not right' but because they fear being hurt. If you want to get a toddlers attention you should just talk to them, and remove them from the problem. No child deserves to be hurt, to be in a state of fear or worry for the next spanking, to be humiliated. Parents should teach not just spank for ease ! Wife beating, slavery and wholesale rape and buggery of 7 yr olds in Ancient Rome have all been rightly banned as abusive and so should spanking - such a nice euphemism for hitting a defenceless child! Hitting my husband or that annoying lady in the check out, or an animal is illegal and so should spanking a child be! Sweden banned spanking and CP many years ago - and they do not have the worlds highest criminal rate, and are not living in fear. In fact, child abuse has dropped to an incredible low. Unlike places that allow the barbarism of spanking a child to continue. There were two high schools close to each other in my day. Mine didn't use CP and the children were known for their politeness and good behaviour - the other, did use CP and the pupils there were hooligans, and in trouble all the time. The children were all from the same catchment area too. I hope that one day soon .. it won't NEED to be illegal as people will not even think of hitting a child.

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