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Published on: 26 Mar 2012 by isy
I want to start off my saying that this is just my opninion and my view on the topic. I understand not all of you will agree with me and I know that some of you will have very strong opinions. I respect all your views and comments on the subject, even if I do not agree with them.
I consider myself a 'Modern woman'. I cannot see myself ever being dependant on a man for anything (except maybe my daddy) If one day I do get married I want to be able to pay for my own things and be in control of my finances. My mother is always telling me that no matter how happy and good your marriage or relationship is, you always need to be able to take care of yourself finanically. And I agree with her, a woman should not be stuck in a relationship because she can't afford to leave.
I strongly believe this and I could go on and on about this but I have another point to make.
Yes I see myself as an independant woman but I still get worked up and irritated when men are not gentlemen.
When I go out on a date or meet a guy there are small things which are deal breakers for me.
- Paying the Bill. As I said before I do not want to rely on a man for anything,that includes dates. I will always insist on paying for myself. BUT (this is where some of you might think that I am a hypocrite) If the guy does not atleast OFFER to pay I Will not go out on a second date with him. If He offers then I insist and THEN HE lets me pay, I will be happy to date him. BUT if he just assumes I am paying for myself it really turns me off. I feel that the offer to pay shows that he respects you as a woman and that he was raised by an amazing mother :-)
-The small gestures. I don't know if all women notice these acts, or if all men are aware that they do it, or don't But I NOTICE. Opening the door, waiting for you to sit down first, letting you order first, etc. These things may seem small and in todays society men don't always feel the need to do it. Again to me this all comes down to respect. These small gestures makes me feel like he respects me and he atleast has some manners.
Also (this may be a bit premature) the way a guy acts around you early on can be indicative of the type of father he will one day become.
-The way he speaks to you. I am a sucker for good grammer and spelling and that may seem silly but if a guy send me a message like this " Hi swty, hwz u?" or something to that effect I will cringe! I understand the need to cram everything into 1 sms and I do it when I chat to my friends but If i am trying to impress someone I would atleast make sure that my writing style is that of an adult.
The same goes for speaking face to face. We all use slang from time to time, but if a guy uses none stop slang words when he speaks to me, he automatically drops a few IQ points. Use slang with your friends by all means, but if you are speaking to a lady ,she deserves proper english.
I went out on a date with a guy once, who spoke to me the way, I assume,he speaks to his friends.Swearing and overusing slang. I found it really disrespectful and I never went out with him again.
There are a few other things I want to say but this post is getting long and I don't want to bore you with along essay/rant. I might do the rest in another post.
Please leave your comments and questions below:-)