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Published on: 23 Apr 2012 by isy
My previous post was all about my first kiss, and sadly for me, that was followed by my first heartbreak.
I have learnt to accept it and to move on,but I don't think you ever forget the pain and loss and I'm not sure you can truly 100% get over it.
So after my whole first kiss debacle, Guy 1 did the cowardly thing and ignored me in the harshest way possible ; he ignored my texts,stopped phoning, texting or Instant messaging me. He bascically deleted me from his life without letting me know.
I was GUTTED and then to make matters worse a few weeks later he decided to talk to me to let me know that he is getting back together with his old girlfriend.
Bear in mind, that at the time, I thought I was inlove with this guy.
What I should have done walk away from the entire situation with dignity. But being a naive high school student I decided on the wrong solution :Revenge.
I Hacked into his instant messaging account (the idiots password was my name,how lame) and deleted all his contacts. I Still can't believe I did that.
Luckily for me he thought it was his cousins idea of a practical joke so I was in the clear.
1. I acted like a child. No matter how badly a guy treats you, the best way to handle it is by keeping your dignity. By deleting his contacts I achieved nothing.
It didn't make him want me ( at the time thats what i wanted) and I didn't feel better.
2. IMPORTANT: If a guy does not commit to you, if he is evasive or if his attention dwindles, do not stick around and hope that ,that will change. Sure in rare cases he might decide that he wants you, but in most cases simply put : HE IS JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU.
3. This is a lesson I only now (6 years later) learnt. After that whole episode I was damaged. It knocked my self-esteem a lot and I struggled to believe guys when they flirted with me. I was constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop and for them to dump me. So for a long time I didn't date much and only went out on 1 or 2 dates with guys before killing the 'relationship'.
I learnt that YOU CAN'T BRING YOUR PAST INTO YOUR PRESENT. Yes, the past moulds you into what you are today but, if you use the past to measure the future you are never going to be able to commit.
Practical advice: All this sounds ok but to implement it this is what I do. I use my sister, mother,father and close friends to help They know me best so I always ask them for their opinions on guys when I'm deciding whether or not to date them. You may not be comfortable talking about guys with your parents but I found that discussing dating,relationships and men with my parents have helped me a lot.
I hope that you enjoyed this post. Please comment below and feel free to ask questions.
If you have any requests ask in the comments below or via twitter @raeesa_isy