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Published on: 22 May 2012 by innerbeautyguru
I'm not new here, i've been here before but erased my account after feeling like I needed to start over with a diffrent me, you see the other account was me basically going through the phase from child to teen, and wasn't what I wanted to be here for. I'm here because I'm sharing things, YOU should know, that I found out previously when I was still moving into the teenage phase, the usual thing these teenage topics start with are of course: boys. I'll get to them later, firstly, I want to start off with your friends. This is how it goes down, I had a friend who I loved, she is so down to earth and is easy to talk to, but always felt this feeling that if i confided to her about something that I don't tell anybody, she would just make fun of me, I started letting more of myself out to her and she would just make fun of it, I sometimes felt that I wasn't pretty enough, or that I'm not social enough, she was never going to be there for me, like truly be there, and that's a problem, you ALWAYS need someone who you know will support you, I have dreams, she always shot them down, you ALWAYS want someone who won't make fun of you, not in that friendly way but that true way when they just think your weird or emberassing. You ALWAYS want someone that will make you happy, and enjoy your time, pick the right person for you, because you dont know it but that person will affect you in ways you can never imagine. Now, we move on to the guys, I really loved this guy, i grew up with him, he was so sweet and down to earth, and then we he started getting older, and getting into the teenager years, he started getting in with the wrong crowd, he would go do drugs and smoke, and drink. He was wasting his life away. He started getting pushy, he wanted us to get serious and would push me and put pressure on me, until I told him, that he changed and that I had to find someone that I DESERVE, somebody that cares. That's one of the most important things, really, someone who is looking out for you and your best intrest at heart. Moving on to family, my family at first we never got along it was always fighting, and tears, and insecurity, and at one point it led me to the point of cutting myself, it wasn't deep, but it was what you would call a "start", I felt ashamed of myself, that was the lowest point I have gone to, I was feeling sad and just dissapointed with everything, I felt that I was stupid, lame, and basically the worst feeling in the world is to be : unloved. Which is exactly how I felt, but I never came near that cutter again, I tried focusing on the important things in my life, and moved on, things eventually did get better. I got better in school, my friends and me were on the right track, and my family was perfect. Patience and Hope is what really kept me going and that's something that everybody needs in their life.