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Published on: 10 Mar 2012 by furnace
I decided to write a letter to all the young women who are in the process of their first love, or just like to reminesce abit on things and see wether or not I have anything good to say.
To all you young lovers out there, there are two types of men you can like. Not two types of men all around, but two that you LIKE.
The first: The body lover
You might know what is comming.. This is NOT one of those blogs telling you NOT to have sex!
So this first type of man is all about your body. Not your eyes and how pretty you are, or your hair and how soft it is. But your body, like as in sex. You are thinking that you want a guy like that, someone to satisfy you and make you feel older and like a grown up. He will satisfy you for a time, and you will feel cared for, special, wanted, and worthy of a males attention. Then you will wonder where it is all leading, if it is more meaningful then he makes it out to be.that wondering I was just talking about, will make you unsure of yourself. I was one of those girls that thought just because someone loved my body, I had it all. But it was stressful, and thoughts were never shared. You feel like it is something fantastic and life changing, but wonder why he is not around when you really need him to be. But even if he satisfies your body, what is he REALLY doing for you? Does just the thought of him make your day? It might now but will it later? Or does he leave you, more then you care to admit, in tears. Wandering the halls at school wishing you were living up to everybodies expectations, and confused?
The second: The mind lover
This is my choice of dude right here..
He satisfies your mind. He makes you feel happy, even if you arent even yet dating, even if you just had a fight. He explains things to you when you dont understand, and the thought of him makes you smile, like the body lover, only this time it is different. there is trust where there was none before. In loving your mind and soul, he gives you the right to love it for yourself. Loving who you are inside gives you the courage to accept the rest of you, your body, your actions, everything. This guy, will make you think, and if you text him , he will respond after thinking about it. Who out there hates it when you write this huge text to a guy, and it even has a question in it, and he replies with a "ok"? That is one of the biggest things that piss me off. Its like OMFG just answer the question, have a bloody opinion or something!! Prove to me that you are worth the time it takes to write this, the time it takes to think of you and the time it takes to love you. And the biggest thing he is? What is he so loved for? What is a total subconcious turn on? The fact you can be yourself when you are with him. Simple as that. Don't say you have never tried to please someone..
Wether it be your mother and she wants you to wear things that belong in church, out shopping. Or its the popular girls at school and they are all strutting in some new style..So just because they are wearing it you have to have it, which is,indireclty, a way of pleasing them. Or there is the man in your life you want to make happy. You know he just drools when you are in yoga pants.. that is the body lover..The mind lover will drool at you in yoga pants, and call you cute..then when you wear what pleases you and no one else you know of, he will realize this makes you happy, then drool and call you cute. Just because self confidance is sexy and he is happy your happy.
So one lets you feel confidant, inside and out. The other makes you initially happy, and then you get lost somewhere.
Now, there is a midground between the two. But I can bet you big money that sex with the mind pleaser will be more of a release, then sex with the body pleaser. You wouldnt even be able to enjoy it because your busy worrying about the next day and wether or not he will still 'love you", and how your reputation will be affected.
I would like you to think about what you want, and what you have. If you have the first option, are you happy with it? Or have you ever doubted it? Felt slightly insecure about something..Now step away from those thoughts that just went into your mind, and think about those thoughts..Are you lying to yourself? After you ask that, what came out of it? Do you want the security and warmth of skin? We all do.But what about the skin of a person that will be there, and help you figure out your problems instead of saying"that sucks"?
Now I don't know what any of you are thinking right now, if I am crazy or this was a total waste of time, or whatever.. But I hope that you chose the person who lets you be you. Life is too short for it to be spent pleasing people who don't matter. And when you first start out, ask him if he thinks he is different from other guys. He will say yes. But you had better tell him that he must show, not tell how he is different.Make him prove to you that he is not like the rest of them, because if he is you dont want him. Nothing will make him special..
Actually, if he says he is not different, then don't even give him the time of day. Because a guy who isnt sure of himself, and sure of his ability to be loved, wont be able to get past that. He won't be able to love you and help you create who you were ment to be. If he cannot do that for himself, then how will he be for you?
Just remember that the hardest part of growing up is that you have to learn to do what is best for you. Even if it means breaking someones heart, including your own.
And no matter what, someone WILL come along who ruins you. They will make you feel like not getting up in the morning, like skipping school or cutting of all your hair or something, just to say "fuck you".
But you will find that through the wreackage and the heartbreak you learn something about yourself. Youll learn that you are strong, and no matter how hard they try to destroy you, you can conquer anything.
It has taken me more years then I care to admit to figure people out. Now i know what I like in people, I can figure out who to be with. You can always tell, just sometimes you have to look hard. In general, we all want the same thing. To be loved,and by who?it matters not.
Overcome your atelphobia, because "our deepest fear is not that we are enadequate, our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, talented, beautiful? Actually, who are you NOT to be?" Those words changed my life, and one day they might change yours as well.
just rememebr, we women were MADE to ENDURE, we WILL survive