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Published on: 25 Mar 2012 by caslynn
Look, man. Being a chubby girl won't get you noticed in the world. People tend to look right over you. If you're not bullied (which honestly doesn't really happen outside of high school and the occasional complete asshole), you're outright invisible.
"You sure are a font of inspiration today, Cas."
I know! But you interrupted, rude. See? This is exactly what I'm talking about.
"But I did notice you, I was just..."
Shh, I'm still talking.
Anyway. I spent a lot of time going completely unnoticed. This carried over a lot into my early adulthood, and it made me very bitter and mean. But, here's what I've learned. Where being chubby and quiet gets you mostly ignored, being mean--no matter your body type--gets you kind of hated. You may hate the world because you're chubby or shy or unpopular or poor, but the harder you hate the world, the harder it'll hate you back.
So, knock it off. Be nice. To everyone. Regardless of what they may have done to wrong you or what social or financial position in which they find themselves. Here's why.
When you're nice, people want to be around you. They'll think to themselves that this is a person that could provide them with happy, positive support rather than be indifferent or tear them down. You know in your life there are people you turn to that will make you feel better. Be that person for someone else.
When you're nice, people will be more inclined to become attracted to you romantically. Look, I may not be a total bombshell. I'm a chunker if ever there was one. But being super nice makes me super happy. And all of those boys who have seen me being both super nice and super happy have probably thought about what it'd be like to have me as a girlfriend. I know that sounds cocky, but it's true. I've gotten more attention from boys than I ever did when I was surly or overly shy.
When you're nice, good things will happen to you. When people think of you in a positive light, they are more likely to show you kindnesses as well. Maybe a friend will buy you lunch because you listened to him talk about how he and his partner have broken up. Maybe someone will tell you that you look really nice today, and it'll make you smile because you were feeling especially unattractive. Maybe, just maybe, the world will be kinder to you because you are being kinder to it.
Don't get me wrong, there are still obstacles here. Things that I face every day, in fact. I don't love everyone. I work with one girl in particular who takes great pleasure in embellishing horrible stories that make me sound like a bad person, and spreading them among my coworkers. I'd sooner leave my job than be nice to her. But I keep that to myself. And maybe I am still kind of shy. But regardless of how uncomfortable I am, I'm always as nice as I can possibly muster.
And honestly, if I've learned anything this way, it's that the world wants to love me as much as I can love it.
I love all of your faces!