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Published on: 24 Jun 2009 by adazilla
You tell me to say what's on my mind. You tell me to write you a little
something because you miss the way my words flow together. Well, this
is what I'm writing for you, even if you'll never read it.
It hasn't even been a full year and everything about my life is
different. I've changed. Completely and totally to the point that it
scares me. I'm not as happy as you remembered me as, but you never did
like changes. So now I'm wearing a mask, fooling you into thinking that
I can still be the naive girl you loved. I'm not even sure why I do it.
I don't think I want you to love me if you can't love me for who I am.
But it's comforting to know that someone cares about what I think and
to remember that someone did love me once, because I'm so scared that
I've become the person that no one could ever love.
I live in a yellow house now. I used to live in a white one. The change
is somewhat like my life. The white has all turned to yellow. The
purity and the innocence are gone. I wish I could tell you that I think
about the past and smile, but I haven't looked back since you and I
left. Peering over your shoulder to look back simply makes you blind to
Anyways, the sky doesn't look any different now. I see more stars these
days. I count them up and find the shapes that people have found for
centuries. And I don’t mind rainy days so much anymore. I just stand
outside on my sidewalk, letting the rain wash me out, and watching my
mistakes float away with the clouds.