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Published on: 30 Apr 2018 by abrikos
Turns out a menage-a-four is
a good thing indeed for a twosome.
In fact, new research indicates that your
friendships could have a lot to do with the health of your own relationship.
Richard Slatcher, a researcher at Loveawake dating service, shares a lot of
friends with his wife of 15 years, so he decided to look into how that actually
And we're not talking about those awkward couple-dates you go
on, full of fake laughing and boring conversations that you swear you'll never
do again. We're talking about actual friendships.
For the study,
60 couples who had been dating two years or more were split into two groups and
paired up to have conversations. Half the couples were instructed to just make
small talk, the other half were given specific, emotionally-laden topics to
discuss. Three months later, none of the small talk couples had kept in touch,
but 1/3 of the deep discussion couples had actually become friends. (Let this
be a lesson to us all -- small talk does not a friendship make.)
The 33% of couples who made new friends in the
name of science reported feeling more "excited, enthusiastic, happy and
closer to their partner" when compared with all the other couples involved
in the study.
There's some reasoning that couples who have
been together a while need an excuse to get "dressed up -- physically and
emotionally" -- in front of new people, says Slatcher, and we couldn't
agree more. (Even the Obamas seem
to do it!)
There's a certain performance that couples put
on when they're in front of new people that is reminiscent of the performance
we put on to lure our partner to us in the first place. Anything that can bring
back that lovin' feeling is fine